Why Do I Matter Now?

Chapter Five

Silence fills the castle. No jokes, no fights. It's peaceful. They all are concentrating on what they need to without being distracted by Lance. The said Cuban is training hand-to-hand combat and doing alright with it but he knows he's struggling. He is thrown onto the floor, grunting and is about to continue when someone ends the training sequence. "Lance, what are you doing?" inquired Pidge who walks over to the Latino who is getting up. She sighs at seeing the look he gives her. "That's not what I meant. You're gonna get hurt, why are you training without your bayard?"

  "I won't always have it," he says, staring at her with a look. His voice is off, there isn't any of his usual happiness. Now, it's dull and low pitched as he speaks. She knows he makes a good point, but it's weird that he isn't as cheerful. Of course she doesn't say anything about it. She leaves afterwards hearing him start up the training sequence once more. She continues her way to her lab, but she just ponders what has changed in Lance. She shakes her head and banishes the thoughts from her head.

  At lunch, the only person that is missing is Lance which no one comments on. The same thing happens at dinner. They don't know where he is but they don't go searching for him. Coran wants to ask if they've seen him, but he figures that they don't know. He goes in search for the young paladin, finding him in the hangar with Blue. He's asleep on the lion's paw, seeming to be peaceful. He can't go to him to wake him since the barrier is up. He sighs and lets the boy rest, although he doesn't want to leave him. The mice come up to him, squeaking and wanting to know where their friend is before deciding to check for themselves upon realizing that he doesn't seem to understand. The find him asleep but the lion lets them pass the barrier as they jump onto the sleeping child and curl around him. They want to hear him sing, but they would rather let him rest.

  The next two weeks (leaving him a week and a half left), Lance is still silent and working harder than before not answering them or even talking to anyone. He barely eats anymore, yet they say nothing about it either. At noon, they're called to the bridge for a meeting with the Blade of Mamora. Lance is told to stay silent, not to speak even though he hasn't spoken to them ever since what Keith had said to him. He sticks his hands in his pockets, slouching somewhat as he walks into the bridge. There, he leans against a wall furthest away from the Blades. He watches their interaction before being brought out of his musings when he hears Allura introduce him while motioning at him. He looks up, waving and quickly looking away. He listens to them just in case they mention him into it, asking a question but he highly doubts it. "I have to let it go, before I make myself sick. And I feel the dark, in the brightest of seasons, I feel the rain, when the sky isn't bleeding." Lance mentally sings to himself as he watches them, making eye contact with the leader, Kolivan, who tilted his head at him. He quickly tears his gaze away from the Galra.

  After the meeting, Lance stays behind looking over the plans. He points out flaws in some of them, but keeps it to himself. "You're the Blue Paladin, Lance right?"

  The said teen jumps and looks up to find Kolivan there. He blinks as he answers the question with a small nod. He steps away from the plans, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he gives the Galra rebel leader a small forced smile.

  "Wait, why didn't you speak during the meeting? Everyone else contributed to the plans and I notice a pained look on your face at a few of the ideas. Why didn't you say anything?" The Galra crosses his arms as he waits an answer.

  "It's best that I don't speak. My contribution isn't all too helpful. The plan is fine and there's really not anything I can contribute." He shrugs slightly as he lies, trying to figure out a way to leave such a conversation. The plan has so many flaws it physically hurts. "I should go," he murmurs as he doesn't want to be there anymore. He should get back to training, get away before he messes this wavering, thread of an alliance up.