Fire and Ice Book 2 (Loki X Reader)

Voice in your head

Since you've lost track of time, you didn't know when, but at some point, your daily routine of torture stopped. Two strong creatures dragged you violently from your cell into a huge hall. The light was very weak in there, and your vision was a bit blurry from starvation too, but at the end of the hall, in the shadows, you saw a figure sitting on a throne-like chair. He was the leader of your kidnappers, as you figured. When the guards dragged you by your chains to his feet, he took a moment to examine you. After a few moments of silence, he spoke:

"Welcome, my child! You don't know how long I have been waiting to have you as my guest. I hope you are satisfied with our hospitality."

"Well, I have issues with the room service, and the meals could be nicer too." You could barely speak, but you tried to sound as confident and sassy as you could. Even though this mysterious man scared you, you wanted to show him that you were not easy to overawe.

"Ah, I see you still keep your head up high after all this time. Well, I can assure you, my child, that it will be no longer the case. Today, your training will begin!" You still couldn't see his face in the shadows, but by his voice, you could tell that he enjoyed the scene and was pretty satisfied with himself.

"You must be mad if you think I'll take part in your stupid training. I'm not doing anything for you!"

"Well, you have no choice, since you have something very powerful I need. Sadly I can't take it from you, so I'm forced to use you as my weapon instead. Soon, you will be nothing more, but a pet to me, who'll do whatever it's owner wants." At the end, he let out a small, yet terrible laugh.

At least now you knew why you were here. The Eternal Flame. They wanted to use it as a weapon. To use you as their killing machine. You couldn't let that happen, you needed to get back to Loki. You couldn't let them break you.

"I'll never be the monster you want me to be! You'll never break me!" You shouted at him, as your guards were dragging you away. The mysterious man didn't reply, just laughed at you struggling against his men.

Now you understood why was the long period of beating and starving needed. No matter how hard you tried to fight against them, you were too weak to break free, or even to make their job harder. You were like a ragdoll in their strong grips. They carried you into some kind of laboratories and tied you up against a cold, metallic chair. They tied your head down too and placed a strange machine on it. Again, you struggled against it with all your strength but it was ineffectual. You were scared of what they were going to do to you. You tried to move your head, to shake the machine off, but nothing worked. And then they turned it on.

It was playing a monologue, but in a strange way, you didn't hear it with your ears. The voice was speaking in your head. Like an intruder who walked into your mind to suppress your thoughts with his own ones. All you could hear in your head was this new voice saying the same things over and over again:

'Loki Laufeyson is your enemy. He is the one who sent you here. He is the one who tortured you. He is the reason for your suffering. He left you all alone. You have to end his life. You have to kill Loki Laufeyson!'

No, no, no this couldn't be. You had to fight it. They couldn't break your love for him. Loki was in love with you and searching for you.

'...he is the reason for your suffering...'

The voice was just repeating the same monologue again and again. You barely could hear your own thoughts. You tried to concentrate on Loki and your love for him with all your remained energy.

'...YOU HAVE TO KILL LOKI LAUFEYSON!..'

The voice was now playing on full volume, and your head was aching. You couldn't hear your voice anymore, instead, you tried to take slow, deep breaths and imagine a picture of Loki and you kissing. You saw his beautiful face, and the love in his eyes. Just... concentrate...

'LOKI LAUFEYSON IS YOUR ENEMY! HE IS THE ONE WHO SENT YOU HERE!...'

The monologue was going on and on, and your head was so full, it felt like it would explode. Now you were screaming out in pain and praying for it to stop. You didn't know for how long it kept going because you passed out at a point.

You woke up in your cell again. Your head was still aching, and you were fully exhausted from the mental ordeal. The voice was still echoing in your mind, though the device was gone. You curled up on the cold floor, and tears started to flow down your cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, my love. I will not let them control me. I will fight them and their lies. I will keep our love alive," you murmured to yourself in the dark. You imagined that he was there with you, hugging you from behind like he used to do. Then you fell unconscious again.

The next day the whole process started over again. You were dragged to the lab, and tied up against the chair. This time you prepared your mind for what was coming. You figured it would be more effective to keep the voice out of your head if you concentrated on a very intimate and loving moment with Loki. For example, the two of you making love. You thought you were ready for it, but when the machine was put on your head, something new was playing:

'You are a monster. Nobody likes a disgusting creature like you. You are a disappointment to your family and friends. They have never liked you, and you will never be one of them. You are different. You were made to kill and destroy. You are a monster.'

This hit you unexpectedly and right where it hurt the most. It targeted all your insecurities about your origins. Since you were with Loki, and the others assured you they loved you no matter what, you became more confident, but it never faded completely.

'...They have never liked you, and you will be never one of them...'

No. They were your family. You thought about the group hug when they found out you were a fire giant. All the love they gave you. How you loved them. But the voice was getting louder and louder again:

'...YOU ARE A MONSTER! NOBODY LIKES A DISGUSTING CREATURE LIKE YOU!...'

It reminded you of your bloodthirst and how you wanted to slaughter your kidnappers, how you wanted to burn everything down. Only a monster would do that, an Avenger never...

'...YOU WERE MADE TO KILL AND DESTROY! YOU ARE A MONSTER!...'

No, you couldn't let it get in your head. You weren't a heartless monster. That was what they wanted you to think. You had to resist. You concentrated on your family back in Stark Tower, but pictures of Surtur, mass destruction and flames rising above the clouds came up violently in your head. Destruction was in your nature. It was in your blood...

You regained consciousness in your cell again. You were lying in cold sweat and your body was shaking, tears were flowing unstoppably down your cheeks. You wished the others have been there with you telling you this all was just a lie. That you were better than this. That you were not the monster the voice said... But this time damage has been done. Your kidnappers found a crack on you.

***
Well, this chapter turned out a bit dark, but I hope you like it! Every suggestions and critic are welcomed! Thank you for reading or voting, I love you all! <3