Broken

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Your days back home were poisoned by sorrow. Loki's confession made your world crash down into tiny pieces you couldn't put together again. In your cell, you believed the whole time that he was waiting for you. The only thing you had all that time was Loki. And now you felt like you had nothing left in this world. Your home was by his side, and now the tower was just a big, empty building where you couldn't find your peace.

Of course, you still loved him, but every time you looked at him, a picture of him making out with some slutty princess appeared in your head, and it made your blood boil. You couldn't talk to him or even stay near him, but at the same time, you were longing to hug him, to kiss him, to wake up in his arms. To simply forget about everything he said. You wanted to forgive him so badly, but you couldn't. After three months of mental and emotional torture, you were not ready for another one.

It has been three days since your return and you didn't talk to him above the needed minimum. If he entered a room, you simply walked away. His presence was just a hurtful reminder of his betrayal and your broken heart. Sometimes you were wondering if he was feeling this hollow and broken too. Or what he went through without you. The first day when you returned to your room, as far as you could remember, everything was where you left it. Except for your bed. In the morning you always made your bed, but now it was messy and crumpled. At first, you didn't realise it, but when you laid down you felt Loki's scent all over the bedsheets and found some long, jet black hairs on the pillow. So, he was missing you as much as you missed him. But then why did he sleep with another woman? You wanted to understand him, but at first, you needed to heal your own wounds which seemed to be too deep.

At night you were alone in your room, laying sleepless in your bed. You barely slept in the last three days, because you were too afraid of having nightmares. During the days, when you were among your friends, everything was fine. But at nights, your horrible nightmares were haunting you. It was the worst part of being alone. Normally you would just walk up to Loki's room and sleep with him, but now it wasn't an option.

Only one wall separated you from him in the room next door, yet he seemed to be so far and away. Asking Steve to stay with you wasn't an option either, because you didn't want it to seem like you were only trying to make Loki jealous. The two of them fighting was the last thing you needed. When finally your eyelids became heavy, and you couldn't fight it anymore, you fell asleep. In your dream, you were again on the battlefield. You saw the flames rising up to the sky and the thousands of dead bodies heard the desperate screams of your many victims. Then you were again in the cold darkness of your cell, you heard the voices in your head, and every inch of you was suffering. Then you saw them. Loki and a girl you didn't know. You woke up crying, covered in cold sweat and with your heart racing like a maniac.

"(Y/n), are you okay?" you heard a voice from the door. In the dark, you recognised Loki's slim form sliding into your room. "I heard you screaming." You couldn't see his face, but his voice sounded worried.

"I just had a nightmare. Sorry for waking you," you sobbed, and before you could say anything else, he climbed next to you in the bed and wrapped his arms protectively around you. At first, you wanted to protest and push him away, but it just felt too good. As you snuggled up to him, you felt the warmth coming from his body, and his strong arms around you. You felt safe.

"Shh, don't cry, I'm here. I won't let anything bad happen to you." He placed a gentle, small kiss on your forehead, and wiped away the tears from your cheeks with his thumb...

*

In the morning as you woke up, you rubbed your eyes and looked around. You were alone in the bed. You thought back on last night, the nightmares, and Loki coming over to chase those dreams away from you. At first, you believed that it was a dream too, but then you saw his slippers forgotten by the side of the bed. So he really was with you and left before you woke up. Your face fell, as this realisation hit you. You were disappointed because deep inside you wanted him to stay. Maybe waking up together would have been a good chance to talk things through and make things right again, but he clearly didn't want that. He gave up on trying and left you alone again.

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