Opus

Amour

As we lie here,
we, who have been lovers and strangers
and conspirators, beggars and monarchs,
pharaohs and prisoners, and lovers again.
We lie here, we, you and I
In the same bed we have laid on for years
and you ask 'do you love me?'

You haven't asked in a while.
I wonder why, I wonder if it matters after all
the years, the day of the week, and the wars.
I say 'yes'
though I am not sure, I am never sure of anything now.
We are fading, our bones thinning out and
our shadows growing out on the porch in the
evening light like trees after the rain.
I am not sure now, but I will be sure in the
morning.
I always love you in the morning.

I say 'yes'.
And after the silence that rolled over
between us like a child
You ask, 'was it worth it?'
Was love worth it? Was life worth it?
Will we carry a stone in our hearts when
we return to the dust
The burden of having loved someone and being
loved back.

I say 'do you remember?'
Do you remember how Pompei fell
Mosul crumbled as we kissed?

Do you remember?
Memory is blasphemy. Blessed be those
who forget.
Pompei fell, Mosul crumbled,
But Bethlehem slept on.

Do you remember?

We met in the shade of petals
Their stalks dark and silent, and
The sunlight falling through, coloured.
Colours spilled from their outlines
from the curve of your lips into the opacity of the air.

We were young, you were but a child.
The sun shined from behind your eyes,
your veins, your lips, what hope did I have,
what could I do?
I who was but brittle, I crumbled
under your hands, shattered into pieces each
a moment to make eternity
I who counted the waves breaking on the shore,
and craved warmth and the limbs of one and fireside.
I craved. I craved you.
I craved more, by the fireside, on this bed,
In the garden as we watched our shadows grow
in the evening light.

And now, time has gone, we have lived
a thousand years and a thousand lives.
By the fireside, I have seen it all,
I have seen your faces fall,
one following the other.
The ocean in your eyes dulled.
The hair on your chest darkened
then became grey, and then white.
You saw my skin dissolve, my words spill
and the sky disappear from above our heads.

The sun still shines from inside your veins
but it does not matter anymore.
We are fading. We are fading into each other till
I can't tell anymore,
which is you and which is me.
So, you see, it does not matter. If the sun
shines it shines for me as much as you.

You ask 'do you believe?'
Bethlehem sleeps, I do not know what I believe.
But I hope.
I hope I meet you again in the other life.
I hope we are lovers, I hope for
another lifetime by the fireside,
over, and over, and over again.
Love is a burden.
Love is blasphemy. Blessed be those
who can choose. 

I do not love you now, as we lie here.
But I shall love you in the morning.