Jaded

[9] Liar, Liar

"Jade, wake up."

"Atty, stop screaming."

"I'm not scr- would you get up please? Else I'll carry you out myself."

See, I know he meant that as a threat, but considering how comfortable I am in rusty's passenger seat, I'm actually very tempted to let him carry me inside the house. The hour-long ride back was some of the best sleep I've had in a long time, even if there's now a long streak of ash on rusty's slate grey seat.

"You couldn't handle it, Hercules. I'd snap you in two."

My eyes are still closed and I'm facing the driver's side, away from Atty- who's hovering outside my car door, pacing on the driveway. "I'm not taking the bait, I'm not a moron. You've got two perfectly capable walking legs, put them to use."

"Of course you'd know all about my legs," I tease, stretching out the 'all'. He makes it too easy, I can't help myself. Atty must be only a few inches away because I clearly hear a curse followed by some strangling noise, like a cat that maybe pulled a muscle.

I should probably calm grandpa Atty down before he hurts himself. "Okay, geez I'm coming. Why're you in such a rush anyways?"

"Because," he huffs, "I have to pee and you're taking forever to leave the car!"

"Who told you to wait? It's not like I'll get lost." Really, I'm capable of at least entering the house on my own. Atty needs to chill a bit before those forehead wrinkles become permanent.

"Madeira, for the love of god."

I'm in the process of turning around, but suddenly hearing my actual first name out of the blue throws me for a loop. It sounds really poetic on Atty's lips, but also kind of freaky to be honest.

I clear my throat, readying for the next round. "I'm like those Chinese finger traps, the more you struggle the harder this becomes."

"Someone has to explain to Collette why you've got ash in your hair, an open chin wound, and puffy eyes. Since I've seen first hand your lying skills, and I know how much Collette worries, I can't leave the explaining to you. So even though it feels like my bladder is going to explode and I'm going to die on this pavement right now, I have work to do."

Damn, never seen a guy so passionate about his bladder.

I hop to my feet and instantly grab his ear. "Aww poor baby," I coo as I pull lightly. The movement causes my thumb to roll over his earlobe and I can't help but gasp when I feel that familiar bump of flesh. This little shit has pierced ears. Or one, at least.

As soon as he gets a look at my face, he wiggles out of my grip and holds his hands up in mock defense. "Don't start, I was 14."

"Well... what else is pierced?" I question. A small grin takes over as my eyes flit downwards suggestively.

He immediately laughs in that wonderful shoulder shaking way of his. Atty softly tilts my chin up, careful to avoid the scrape, and faces me head on with the corner of his lips turned up. "Eyes up here."

A loud groan echoes the driveway and when we turn to see who it is, we find an annoyed Jay hobbling down the porch. He stops at the landing and frowns, arms crossed.

"Not only did you guys ditch me, but now you're shamelessly flirting in front of my good home?" Jay trudges forward a bit and leans over to get a peak around us, into the car. "And you didn't even bring me food!"

Atty simply pops open rusty's trunk and hands Jay an entire box of pizza. Holy crap, how did I miss that? Apparently, I really went for it with the crying since I seemed to have missed him smuggling an entire box.