The Forgotten Memories of Alexis (COMPLETED)

Chapter 11

As what we planned, we went to the rooftop to spend some time. Clouds rolled on and no trace of light of the sun. The silver sky gave a gray illuminance to the entire periphery. I was wearing a black hood jacket while she was wearing a pink loose jacket—like the one that a matinee star used to wear every tour she had. Her hair was made to bun but some of the strands of it were swaying along the wind. As what I expected, the wind was cold and crisp as it crawled through our faces as we faced the vast and astounding outlook of the city. I wandered my eyes around and had seen nothing but the gray sky and even the pigeons were absent in the image of the sky.

When we were here, we weren’t that talking much. We let the silence suffused around us; on one  dared to crack the silence. I heaved a sigh, I didn’t know that silence would be this valuable. I craned my neck to see Ariellè. The smile on my lips did not vanish, instead, it widened. It was really different when I was with her. She can arouse the comfort and contentment that I had sought for years. Ariellè was the only one who can give me the feeling of tranquility within me.

My grasp to the railing tightened. Her eyes were all fixated on elsewhere. She seemed like she was diving on her own trance and yet I didn’t want to interrupt it. Her lips were peeking a smile but my heart hammered my chest out of panic when her eyes exuded tears. She immediately wiped it but the little moisture from it was still palpable.

“Ariellè, hey, are you okay?” I asked, worried.

She looked at me and feigned a smile on her face.

“I am okay,” she chuckled.

“Why did you cry?”

She looked away and I saw how she swallowed hard before she bit her lower lip. Why in even a single detail I wanted to know from you, you can’t still allow me? I wanted to enter the door of mysteries from your eyes but you kept it locked and repelled me instead. You weren’t okay with invading your chasm of mystical thoughts as though I would not be able to cope with it. She was reticent and mysterious. We were friends for months now but she kept everything about her in the trunk on her mind.

Her eyes weren’t that happy as what her lips suggesting. She was neither happy nor sad. I couldn’t determine what exactly the emotions emitting through her eyes. They seemed to reflect a glint of sadness, hope, pain, and exhaustion. The longer I was with her the more I wanted to know her more—including her thoughts and the mysteries that lie on her eyes. But then, the respect I had for her decisions was dominant. I didn’t want to force her to tell her stories. If keeping that to herself can make her comfortable, then I will just go with the flow and won’t mind the intriguing mysteries on her eyes.

“I didn’t cry,” she shook hear head.

“Nice try.”

She shook her head but the smile on her lips was still on, “Yeah I cried. You win,”

My attention dropped to her the moment she admitted that. She looked at me also, equaling the intensity of my gaze for her. I swallowed hard.

“I cried because I just remembered the movie I had watched last night.” She announced.

I didn’t know if she was telling the truth. But I opted to kept silent and just stared at her eyes. The contact of our eyes did not last, she immediately averted her gaze and closed her eyes as she hovered up her both hands; sprawling on the air; savoring the coldness of nature right now. The fog of curiosity that permeated on my thoughts awhile diminished as I eyed her with so much adoration. She looked so pure and innocent and it gave me the sense of protectiveness towards her.

Right now, I just wanted to hug her while she was content with the frigidity of nature. At first, I thought my feelings for her was just a shallow liking—which will eventually fade but as the time rolled on, I realized that this was something more; something that no definite meaning would explain. It was so strong that I had to assess myself if I was doing all right. And fuck, in my entire life, I never became a coward. But when I was with Ariellè, all I was thinking was the possibility that she’ll reject me, that she’ll turn me down because I was not enough. I knew she deserved more that what I can provide and it pained me the most.