Love and Pride

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Sanem

"Where have you been?" Leyla whisper yelled when I sneaked back into my room scaring the daylights out of me.

"Met a friend from school and went out for drinks," I said unconvincingly.

She eyed me with suspicion.

"I don't believe you," she said and then her eyes widened comically, "Sanem! What is that?"

She pointed at my collarbone. I ran to the mirror to look and oh God! He had marked me. And the memory of him biting and then sucking my skin burst into my mind's eye so vividly I almost swayed with the power of it.

My face flooded with color.

Meanwhile, Leyla watched me with too shrewd eyes. "I think you have been very naughty and you will tell me everything. But right now you have to hide that and change out of that dress. Mother and father came back really early this morning. She's been asking for you and I don't know how much longer I can hold her off. I told her you weren't feeling well. I have to go get ready for work. I like your new necklace by the way."

She ran out of the room and... New necklace? I looked down and there was Can's albatross swinging from its long-chain between my breasts. I had no idea when he'd slipped it over my neck. I lifted the small pendant to my lips and closed my eyes. In just a short time, he had changed me irrevocably. I was never going to be the same. I tried to think of a future without him in it. And couldn't.

****
"Good morning mother. How was your trip?" I said trying to mask my nerves. I walked into the dining room and took a seat across from her preparing myself for the lecture that was sure to follow. I had no doubt Yiğit had done his due diligence.

I pretended to eat what was placed in front of me while I waited.

"What are you wearing?" I looked down at my gray business suit. Conservative color and cut just as she liked. Same as always... except for the albatross necklace. I quickly tucked it into my high necked dress shirt feeling protective of it. I didn't want her eyes on it.

"Something a friend gave me." I tried to shrug it off as insignificant.

She looked unconvinced but didn't pursue it.

"You have grown a lot, daughter," she began, "I despaired of you for many years, with your head always buried in books, writing nonsense from dawn till dusk. I feared you would never grow up and live up to the family name. Of course, you still have this ridiculous notion of running a business when you should be thinking about marriage and children."

"I want those things too. Someday." And not with a man of your choosing I added silently.

"I thought you had grown out of your impulsiveness but imagine my surprise," she continued as if I hadn't spoken, "when I received a report of a most alarming nature. My daughter dressed like a prostitute leaving a party on the back of a motorcycle with some ruffian." Her voice was hard but she took a calm sip of her tea.

I felt my spirit deflate, the hollowness inside my chest returned. It had recently been filled by loving embraces and cherishing touches but she was slowly carving it out again. After a lifetime of her set downs and soul-crushing criticisms, I should be immune to this. I felt myself shrivel by slow degrees.

"He's not a ruffian, he's a successful and talented man." I surprised myself by saying. He is beautiful, gentle, loving and he treats me like I'm the most cherished thing in the world was what I should have said.

Her eyes widened. "Did you spend the night with this man?"

I wanted to shout, yes! And it was the most beautiful night of my life. I was held tenderly, touched and treated like I was precious and special. Laying spread out under the stars while he feasted on me will be a memory I will treasure until my dying days. I thought of the love bites decorating the inside of my thighs and fought back a flush of pleasure at the memory.