Love and Pride

Pride, Love and First Impressions Part 7

*this was only supposed to be a two-chapter short bonus and it has turned into this 🙈 Huge thanks to everyone who has come along for this ride. I know it is a hard sell and way outside canon. Thank you for trusting me with this 💕
**also smut ahead*
Ayhan

I took him into my bedroom. He stared at me mutely while I loosened his tie and stripped off his wet suit jacket. When I began to unbutton his shirt he started talking, it was a stream of consciousness and possibly the most words I had ever heard him say at one time.

"The night you burst into the library, I felt like I had been hit over the head with a brick. I couldn't believe that the aggravating chatty girl I met years ago had turned into this gorgeous woman. After that night, I couldn't stop thinking about you, the way you teased me, the way you seemed to enjoy it. I decided you were just having fun at my expense. It was easier to think that than to believe you actually wanted me."

He took a deep breath and continued. "I have learned to be suspicious of anything that makes me happy, you see, and you made me happy. I knew happiness didn't last and I didn't want it to be over so I pretended that we were just friends. But I wanted you and I also wanted to spend time with you, I wanted to hear you chatter incessantly, to see that playful smile when you're trying to push my buttons. No one has ever tried to pry me open the way you have. No one ever cared enough to try. But I convinced myself that I was just a crush to you, that you'd get over it and move on so I waited but you never do what I expect you to do."

He lifted his hands and ran the back of his fingers over my cheek. "All my adult life I've been very careful to keep physical desire separate from emotions but it's impossible with you. I have nothing to give you, and if I got you I have no idea how I'll keep you. You deserve someone your own age. Someone who is as full of life as you are. Someone who isn't afraid to love you."

I put my fingers over his lips.

"I know what I deserve. I deserve a good man, an honest, hardworking stubborn ass of a man with the most adorable smile and the most gorgeous head of hair who can also wear the hell out of a suit. I deserve to be loved madly, uncontrollably, unconditionally and without reservations."

I waited but he looked tortured and stared at me mutely. His eyes spoke volumes, his trembling fingers came up and touched my cheek reverently.

I wanted to give him the words. They fluttered at the tip of my tongue but I kept my silence because he seemed to be working, however messily, through his issues and I didn't want to pressure him to return the words. I would wait...

So instead of telling him, I would show him.

I never thought that the act of undressing a man could be so arousing. I finished removing his shirt and undid his belt. He stood staring at me in a daze, his eyes shining, his body trembling. When I unbuttoned his pants, he cupped my face and kissed me softly, pouring all of those emotions that terrified him into the kiss. I kissed him back with all the love in my heart, threading my hands in his wet hair. The kiss started sweetly but gradually twisted into something dark and molten. The hands that had caressed me so softly before were now moving urgently over my back and pulling me impossibly close. I moved away for a second and pulled my shirt over my head. He paused and stared. I was wearing quite the utilitarian bra, a totally unsexy white cotton number but if the way he was devouring me with his gaze didn't show me how appreciative he was, his words reassured me of that fact.

"You're so beautiful. These," he ran his fingers over my cleavage. "These have been torturing me since that night of your birthday and that dress you were spilling out of. It was a relief to jump in the pool."

"Well, then. Your dreams are about to come true," I grinned. I reached back and unclasped my bra.

He didn't look immediately instead he asked me, "are you sure?"