I Could Fall

Chapter Twenty-Two

The music had become faint That I can barely hear it. It's like everyone around us disappeared and we were the only two people here in the pool.

To say that I am shocked is an understatement. I am surprised, confused, and hurt—I don't know what to feel first.

I've only seen Atticus as a friend. Our friendship was pure and genuine that I never saw anything beyond that. Sure, he was sweet to me and a little possessive—but my brothers and Dashiel are like that to me, too. I never gave meaning to any of his moves. Why would I when I only saw him as a friend and nothing more?

And now hearing him confess... I don't know what to feel.

"Atticus..." I trailed, not knowing what to say next.

He placed his hand on my lips, before I can say another word. He looked nervous now. The gravity of what he just said kicked in.

He knows it will change everything. Whatever I will say to him will change whatever's between us.

"You don't have to like me back. Gusto ko lang sabihin. And I'm willing to wait until you're eighteen, Hyon," sabi niya. His eyes were sincere and determined now.

My heart feels like it was being squeezed and not in a good way.

I slowly removed Atticus' hand from my lips. Hinayaan niya naman ako. I can see the fear that was forming in his eyes but he was trying his best to conceal it.

I don't wanna hurt him but I don't want to be unfair to him either. Mas lalong sumikip ang dibdib ko. The pain will surely double if I'll tell him who I really like but I don't want to keep it from him either.

"Atticus, I'm sorry..." I watched as his face fell. "But I like someone else."

Huminga ako nang malalim para makakuha ng lakas ng loob. It's like a cat got my tongue. The words are in my head but I couldn't say it.

"Who?" he asked. Hurt covered his face briefly and then shifted into something sharp. "No. I don't need to know. Does he like you back? A-Are you together now?" His voice broke at the end of that sentence.

"Atticus, it's your birthday-"

He cut me off. "Please answer me." Desperation resounded from his voice.

I inhaled sharply. "We're not together... and I-I don't know if he likes me."

My words were enough to light up the darkness and fuel his hope. I could clearly see it because he wasn't hiding his emotions anyway. He lets me see it. He let himself be vulnerable in front of me.

"Does he know that you like him?" tanong ni Atticus.

Namula ang mukha ko. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at matapos ay tumango. I did tell Ali that I like him. I had a puppy love on him when I was a kid and I'm sure he knew that, too.

"And he's not making his move to keep you? What an idiot," Atticus bitterly spat.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at napatingin kay Atticus. I wanted to call him out and tell him not to disrespect his older brother like that... pero hindi niya alam na si Ali ang tinutukoy ko. At pwede ko man sabihin, ayaw niya naman malaman.

"I don't care if you like someone else. Hindi pa kayo." Umiling siya na tila kinukumbinsi ang sarili. "I know I can make you fall in love with me. Just give me a chance."

Muling nanikip ang dibdib ko. "I don't wanna give you false hope, Atticus. You're very special friend to me. I don't," I paused to breathe in because pain was enveloping my heart. "I don't wanna hurt you."

"You will hurt me either way, but at least I'll hurt knowing that I fought." Atticus reached for my hand. My fingertips were wrinkled from staying on the water for too long but he didn't mind it. His eyes were pleading me to say yes as it bore on me. "Please, Hyon... Just give me a chance. Just let me like you."