I Could Fall

Chapter Thirty-One

"May hinihintay ba tayo? Gusto ko na ng chicken wings!" sabi ni Phil. She leaned back and placed her two hands behind her to support her sitting position.

Today is the last day of the second semester. We're officially done with our first year in college. It's surreal but it's true. Kaya ngayon ay nag-aya sila Phil at Trix na kumain sa labas bilang celebration. They invited me to party at night, but it wasn't really my scene.

Atticus asked about my plans after class and I told him about it. Nagtanong siya kung pwede siyang sumama kaya ngayon ay hinihintay namin siya sa quadrangle.

"Uhm... Oo. Si Atticus," sagot ko.

Napaayos ng tayo si Phil at gulat na gulat na tumingin sa akin. Pati si Trix ay napatingin na parang may sinabi akong hindi maganda.

"Okay na kayo?" Phil asked. Hindi ako sumagot agad at marahas naman siyang suminghap. "You and Ali broke up?"

Nanlamig ang buong katawan ko. It was just a question that I know the answer to and yet that sentence scares the hell out of me.

"No." Umiling ako. Nanatili ang titig nila sa akin at mukhang naghihintay pa ng idudugtong ko. Huminga ako nang malalim. "It's very complicated."

Lumumbay ang mukha ni Phil. Sympathy was written in her eyes. Ganoon din ang naging reaksyon ni Trix.

"I hope everything will be okay," malungkot na sabi ni Trix at matapos ay nagbuntong hininga.

"Thank you," I calmly replied. I hope so, too.

"Uy!" Phil exclaimed. Her eyes were set on someone else. I glanced at who she was looking at and I wasn't surprised when I saw Atticus.

A boyish grin was painted on his face. Seeing it made my heart hurt. Despite the bruises and the band-aid on his cheek, he still looked like the old Atticus that I know. There were no marks of the angry and broken Atticus that I've witnessed these past few days.

"Hey," he greeted, eyeing me first before glancing at our friends. "Kain na tayo?"

"The fuck? What happened to your face?" tanong ni Trix.

"Napaaway lang." Atticus flippantly shrugged. Muli siyang ngumisi nang malaki at bumaling sa akin. "Tara na! My treat. Susunod daw si Dashiel."

Nang makarinig ng libre ang dalawa ay hindi na sila nagtanong pa. Tumayo na agad at nanguna pa sila sa paglalakad.

It's exactly like what Atticus wanted. Everything was back to normal, or at least we're pretending that it's normal. It's like the past days never happened and he was so good at pretending that I sometimes doubt if it ever did. If it wasn't for Ali, I would have thought we went back to the time that I was stuck in my unrequited love with him.

He wasn't confined in the hospital. Umuwi rin sa parehong gabing 'yon. Naging maayos ang resulta ng tests niya at minor injuries lang talaga ang natamo. Mas malala pa nga ang nakuha niyang galos sa pakikipag-away kaysa sa pagkakabangga.

Ali informed me that the car owner was found. Nakita ang plate number nito sa CCTV. Their parents decided for a settlement instead of filing a case. Ayaw nilang maungkat pa ang tungkol sa away because Atticus already admitted that he was the instigator of the fight.

Nang dumating kami sa isang sikat na chicken wings place malapit sa campus ay bigla ako nakaramdaman ng kung ano. The place reminded me so much of Ali. Kumain na kami rito ilang beses.

I don't know how to explain it with words. Homesick? Can I use that term? Araw-araw naman kaming nag-uusap. I just... miss spending my lunch with him. Miss ko rin ang pagsundo niya sa akin minsan kahit na halos ilang araw pa lang naman ang lumipas simula nung huli kaming nagkita. I got so used to seeing him almost everyday, kaya ngayong sunod-sunod na araw ko siyang hindi nakikita ay hinahanap ko.