Man Of Few Words

Chapter 56

Did I accomplish anything during those few weeks in Pearford?

Maybe a little. I mean, I spent time with my parents, and I found out some stuff about them. I'm not sure I really wanted or needed to know all of it. Maybe I did though. Maybe I did.

We were even getting on quite well for much of the time I was there. I don't know though. I can't say I felt comforted by the bosom of my family. Isn't that how you're supposed to feel? I suppose it's probably just too late. I don't regret going though. In fact, I'm glad I did.

I actually want to call them and talk. Harriet too. But not yet. I don't really know how. I will though.

I have been in contact with women on that dating site. A few hours after I got home, pretty much as soon as Mum left actually, I logged on to the site for the first time since ignoring Margaux, the French one. I had two messages!

The first was a reply from Simone.

I had told her that I'm writing a book and that I hope to finish it before I die (c'mon, it's only fair that I at least give her a clue). And she was all like, "Wow, I'm an aspiring writer too! I can't wait to read your novel..." She writes children's books. She said she's written four so far. They're all about a wombat who lives in an abandoned tractor and works as a circus clown. This wombat – whose name is Simon, would you believe – is obsessed with kiwi fruit and his best friend is a lemur called Rauf. Not Ralph. Rauf.

They get up to "all kinds of adventures" together. C'mon Simone, let's not get ahead of ourselves. They get up to four kinds of adventures together.

She's self-published them online somewhere, and she sent me a link. I didn't click on it. I mean, would you?

I replied, wanting to change the subject, but I wasn't sure what to say. I asked if she ever missed Scotland, how often she went back, how I was there once... that kind of thing.

The other message came from someone I had not messaged or seen before. Someone in London.

It just said, "hey".

Next to the message: "Inge, 37, London" and a photo of an intelligent-looking woman with a long. elegant face and slightly sad eyes. I immediately liked the look of her. It wasn't that she was... y'know... hot. Not like Tuuliki was hot anyway. She just looked like the kind of person I want to meet right now.

I clicked on her profile. She's tall and actually quite athletic, but there's an awkwardness to her posture and fashion sense. She works as a programmer, so I guess that fits. There was nothing sensational in her profile, no wow factor. Just a general feeling of calmness and empathy. Not the type I would ever have gone for before, but something felt very right about her profile. So I replied.

I used the same line about the book. She replied pretty much immediately. Said it's so important to have a meaningful hobby, and that she builds apps in her spare time. And from there, we just got chatting. We mostly talked about her, and whenever I did talk about myself, I steered well clear of my current circumstances. We basically chatted for a couple of hours until I got tired and bid her goodnight. I wanted to ask her out before we signed off, but decided against it, not wanting to potentially open a can of worms when my energy was fading fast.

She seemed very keen to chat again soon. It felt good. It really did. It's been a long time since anything felt good.

When I went to bed I couldn't sleep. I never can these days, of course. But this time it was different.