Man Of Few Words

Chapter 74

As you probably figured out, I crashed again. And this time I crashed hard.

It's been another day since I ordered the family feast, and I still haven't eaten all of it. However, rations of hot (then later, very cold) chicken, fries, beans, coleslaw, and even some fruit left over from my short-lived juicing obsession have helped me regain some of my strength and sanity. The pain has subsided a little too, but it's still bad. I certainly feel much worse than I did two weeks ago. But I'm dying of cancer. I shouldn't expect anything less.

I have an appointment at the hospital scheduled for next week. Maybe they can up my dosage of something.

I got an email from Harriet very clearly detailing every single thing I don't remember agreeing to over the phone. She knows me well considering I'm someone who pretty much ignored her for over a decade. Maybe all the ignoring is exactly why she knows me so well.

Anyway, the Big Day Out is Sunday after next, so I've got over a week to wallow in fear, regret and anxiety until then. Or maybe to get used to the idea and start looking forward to it. It could happen. No really, it honestly could.

I stopped typing. Stared at the train set for a bit, then stared out of the window. It's raining, nothing much to report back on.

I stared at this page for a bit.

Then my phone pinged.

"I'm ready."

It's from Inge, obviously.

I'm not ready. I don't really want to tell her that, but I know I should. And I know she'll totally understand and be cool with it. I just got a cold chill at the thought that she might not be.

But she will be.

I'm gonna call her. I want to hear her voice and, feeble as it is right now (I assume so, although I haven't talked to myself or anyone else all day), I want her to hear mine.