Life after marriage

~5~

Aysel was sleeping & it's been 5 hours since Barış left.

Filiz was sitting beside the window savouring the evening breeze;it made her feel good.

She barely talked to Barış after the breakfast & the goodbye was also short & quick.She knew it was pointless to argue with him,yet a sadness surrounded her & she's unable to come out of it.

Her mind wandered back to all the nights she spent alone because Barış was busy with his work.

The nights when Aysel cried the whole time & barely ate anything.The nights when she hold back the urge to urinate because Aysel wouldn't stop crying.The nights when she had headaches & moodswings because of hormonal changes but no one was there to calm her.The nights when Aysel was unable to get enough breast milk because she wasn't eating properly.The list just goes on & on.

The thickness of her hair was reduced to zero almost.There were pimples all over her face & the scars of pregnancy were still fresh.She barely got to look after herself after Aysel was born & the effects were coming out.

She wished she could just escape the reality for a day.It's not like she's unhappy,in fact every time she looks at Aysel her heart fill with pride for being able to have such a wonderful part of herself in the world.

She knew Barış wasn't at fault even but a part of her mind yearns for the times when they could spent time together.

She wondered what Barış is doing right now.Maybe she should try calling him.

She picked up the phone & dialled his number but ended up cutting the call before it rang.