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twenty-five

Harper.

The thirty minutes went by much too fast.

I soon found myself sitting in bed, holding Luke's hand as I watched Michael prepare and IV.

"Okay, so first I'm giving you a shot of a relaxer to calm your nerves, then we are going to step out and you're going to change into this gown and then we'll come back in and do your IV and such." Michael spoke, making me nod.

Put your brave face on.

Michael carefully wiped the crook of my arm.

"Look to Luke for me"

I felt the lump in my throat as I looked to him.

You will not cry.

I felt the sharp pierce before it went away, making him quickly kiss the spot, making me smile to him.

"Just bra and underwear, or whatever you're comfortable in, just nothing more." He spoke, making me nod as he left.

I certainly kept my bra and underwear on.

I tied as many of the strings as I could, but as soon as I announced that I was done, they entered and Michael finished tying them for me.

They say with me for a few minutes and talked about how I would feel after the surgery, which would basically be tired and numb.

Soon I felt myself chill out almost,

Like I wasn't scared- I wasn't even nervous.

"This I weird" I mumbled, seeing the room almost spin with me as I turned my head.

"What?" Luke smiled.

"The room is turning with me." I announced, seeing them both smile.

"Let's get this IV in"

I could take another needle.

Luke held my hand as Michael wiped my arm and as soon as I felt the needle pierce my arm, it's almost as if I sobered up.

But I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying not to panic.

"Amazing" Michael smiled.

"Any questions before we go scrub in?" Luke asked me.

Why am I suddenly paranoid again?
Why is the room not spinning?
Why is the lump back in my throat?

"I'm good" I faked the smile.

"Okay, see you in there, pretty girl"

Soon interns were pushing my bed to the room they were doing it in.

Someone made me pull my hair into a pony tail, immediately putting a shower cap type thing over my hair.

"Okay, lets go in"

I moved myself onto a different bed once I was in a cold room with one bed and a few people, several trays with intimidating tools on them.

I played with the tape on my IV, wanting to pull it out, but resisting the urge by bouncing my knee lightly.

I sat on the edge of the bed, watching everyone around me.

"Okay sweetie" a nurse smiled to me, stepping in front of my knees.

"I know you're probably cold, here's something to keep you a little warm and covered" she spoke, laying a blanket over my legs, making me thank her.

"D-do you know where Luke is?" I asked as she went to touch my IV.

"He's scrubbing in, right through that glass window" she spoke, making me glance to where she was pointing, revealing the three familiar bodies

"Can you wait to give me another shot until Luke gets here?" I panicked as she touched my IV, making her eyebrows move together.

"I'm not giving you another shot sweetie, I'm just readjusting the tape on your IV to give you a little more comfort." She spoke slowly, making me slowly nod with her.

"Are you feeling a little nervous or scared?" She asked me slowly.

"Yes." I confirmed to her.

"Okay, I'm not going to leave you until whoever you're comfortable with is in here, we'll tell Doctor Clifford how you're feeling and I'm sure he'll help you out." She spoke to me, making me nod.

And soon the door opened, Luke being the first through, coming straight to me.

"Hi, angel" he smiled.

"Hi" I spoke to him slowly.

"How are you, Harper?" Michael's voice spoke as I watched him and Calum join Luke I'm standing in front of me.

"Good" I lied.

"I believe her relaxer has worn off." The nurse snitched on me, making sympathy take over Michael's eyes.

"How are you feeling?" Michael asked, his fingers gently touching my wrist.

"I'm just kinda nervous" I spoke, feeling Luke's hand touch my knee, making me stop bouncing it.

"Yeah her heart rate is elevated, can I get another relaxer-" "I'm okay I don't want another shot" I panicked, feeling the tears instantly come into my eyes.

"Harper, it's just a -" "please ignore me, I'm fine- people get nervous and they're fine, just go ahead and do the epidural, I don't need anymore needles than that" my voice cracked multiple times through the sentence.

"Harper" Calum spoke, grabbing my face gently to make me focus.

"The relaxer is going into the tubing of your IV, so you'll feel nothing but a cold rush through your arm, it's not going to hurt at all and it's going to make a world of a difference when it comes to how you feel and how you react towards the epidural, okay?" He told me slowly as Michael was handed the needle.

"Okay- I'm sorry" I apologized, knowing I was probably being annoying as hell.

"No need to apologize beautiful, we want you to be just as comfortable in here as we are- there should be no reason for nerves or tears, you're safer in here than you are in that hospital room."