Meadow: A Sopranos Fanfic

The Benny Bye Blues

Benny Fazio dipped his finger in the key bowl and swirled it around like a coffee, heavy on the sugar, for what seemed like the hundredth time. His only return was the jingling sound of a dozen or so keys, half of which were most likely useless. "Ma, I checked the bowl ma," he said, patting down his own coat and pockets as well (again).
"You never keep them in there when you come to visit!" a voice rung out of the kitchen amongst the sound of frying peppers, sausage and garlic. He checked the living room again, hovering over the center table, looking in the same place he had already searched before.
"I know that...," he whispered to himself, turning back around and towards the bowl again.
"What'd you say?" Mrs. Fazio asked.
"I said I just don't know where I left...," and just then he felt a bulge in his left pocket that he must have missed before. "What the fuck, ok, never mind ma, I found them!"
"Where were they?" she asked while plating the peppers, unaware that he was getting ready to leave.
"In my pants," he smirked and she let out a chuckle, a snort and a shake of her head just as he kissed the top back of it.
"Ben, you leaving? I thought we were going to talk about that mystery girl? When you gonna bring her over?"
His discontent at her question was obvious as he slipped on his shoes, but he took a piece of sausage from her plate and put it in his mouth in calculated retribution.
"I don't know ma, she and I are kinda on the outs."
"Oh yea? Since when? That's for Mike, don't eat his."
"A month maybe?"
"A month?? Benny come on you promised Mike and I th...!"
"I know, I know. Look, ma, I'm late for work ok? And there's this whole big thing but...," Benny took a piece of sausage from his step-father's plate while opening the door, half sliding out, trying not to smile at his mom's half clenched up face. "I promise we'll talk about this later when I call." She rolled her eyes as he closed the door behind him and this reminded him for a moment of the girl they had just been talking about.

The one that got away was a subject that had continued to hijack his brain for almost a month now. He was tired of reliving the same memories and just wanted peace in his thoughts; even a few minutes of rest would be enough, a second spared from seeing her smile flash across his mind and her eyes rolling away childishly when he said something she thought was stupid (which was actually very often). Unfortunately, peace was nowhere to be found today. Especially not today.
Being in love to someone unattainable was like trying to shake a bad cold; it's almost always gone, but then it suddenly really, really isn't.  The one that got away had a similar way of rolling her eyes as his mother that he drove him crazy, but unfortunately it was something she didn't do so much of anymore. 

Benny shook his head, cleared his thoughts and descended the stairs, heading towards the parking garage at the end of B1. He had an important day ahead of him, he could feel it in his bones.

***

Patsy Parisi was becoming something of an influencer nowadays. He was sure of this as he rechecked his Twitter feed for what was probably the 20th time in the last hour, relishing the feeling of inching ever so close to 500 followers. He smiled at his own genius while absentmindedly getting into the car that had just pulled up in front of him.
"Hey kid," he said with a nod. Benny nodded back, eyes forward while sucking on the inside of his cheeks, an expression he was famous for that was a clear indication of his anxiety/and or frustration climbing through the roof.

Patsy didn't catch it, too busy checking for updates on the Hong Kong protests to notice.
"You see this shit? It says here these people are fighting for their freedom by wearing masks and standing still with umbrellas under hours of pouring rain. Fucking umbrellas!"
"Hong Kong?" Benny asked uninterestedly.  "Yea," Patsy replied, "you tell me in what world these people are living in that they think that's gonna change someone's mind," his finger flicked up and down his smartphone's screen. "You ask me? I'd handle this shit old school Chicago deep dish style; a couple of homemades under some important people's cars, and bada-boom... that's all she wrote."
"'Bada-boom'," Benny scoffed,  "you sound like a walking stereotype P.  No one talks like that anymore and not everyone can do things our way, especially not us, it seems," he muttered, both hands on the wheel, Sun in his eyes.
Patsy's irritation was immediate, "And what way is that my Pee-Wee Herman looking friend?"
"I've told you not to call me that."
"Omertà is deader than dead.  Gone are the days when our ancestors fought the pez in order to bring justice to the land. This ain't the Lone Ranger anymore kid. This thing of ours? It's nothing more than a movie topic now. You ask me that's where our problem really started, putting our business out there for civilians to see."
"Uh huh," Benny pulled into a cul de sac and shut off the engine. "Where is this guy?"
"It says here," Patsy put up a finger while looking down at the screen as if to underline his point, "that Trump warned China not to resort to violence against the protests, or else. The fucking balls on this guy! Mark my words, he's gonna get us into a war with China and the guy with the haircut, the fucking Kimchi brigade over there, whatever you call it, and is gonna end up 'Dead Zoning' the whole damn country. Mark my words."
"Marked," Benny whispered while looking up towards the second floor of the house in front of them.
"I'll tell you another thing, we don't want a war with China either my friend. The Chinese? Smart as fucking MIT professors. All of em. That's what we'd be going to war with, a whole country of short fucking MIT professors. And with their surplus of human bodies? We'd be better off going to war with those little green fucks from the movies. You know, the ones that multiply with water."
"Gremlins," Benny shook his head, still looking around the car.
"The shit they probably have saved up for a rainy day, Befana Santa, biological warfare that'd scare the dingleberries right outta your asshole kid."

"Since when did you start sounding like Big Paulie, P?" Benny said after wincing at Patsy's tirade, this one being a bit more racist and disgusting than usual.
Patsy dropped the phone unto his lap, face as hard as wood, pushing his signature glasses up to the bridge of his nose and asked, "What's your problem?"
"Nothin," Benny continued searching outside, his gaze sliding from side to side, "fuck me." Benny blew the horn and Patsy touched the steering wheel lightly, then jerked his hands back into a 'What the fuck?' position. "Benny, what the fuck is up with you today, huh?"
Leaning back with a slow sigh, Benny shook his head and stared out the window. "No-thing..."
"Kid, stop being a jerk off and tell me what's the matter?"
"It's just that, I'm back to driving again. That's all."
"Is that what's got your panties in a bunch? Get the fuck outta hereee," Patsy threw one hand up and used the other to check his Twitter feed again.
"Having you call me kid every 5 seconds doesn't help either P."
"What? You're younger than me so I call you kid, that's all," Patsy said, glancing up for a millisecond and then going back to his retweet.
"I'm almost 40. Fuck, ok ok. I'm sorry,  I swear I'm not trying to be contentious, I'm just stressed the fuck out, that's all."
"And that's ok, but you gotta understand that when a boss wants you driving, it's either cuz you're on the way down, or it's cuz your being groomed.  And you my friend, are not on the way down, I promise you..."
Benny's stomach fluttered, "You really think so P?
"Here he comes," Patsy pushed his jaw out at Little Paulie Germani, who opened the back door and slid into the seat behind Patsy.
"Why'd you have to honk the horn Benny? Marie just got home from the night shift."
"Come on LP, you were supposed to be outside 10 minutes ago, and we still gotta rendezvous with the twins before I head to the other side of the bridge."
Little Paulie did a double take, "Didn't anybody tell you? We aren't meeting there anymore, it's gonna happen at some old church on 13th."
"Great," Benny patted the steering wheel in frustration, "nobody tells me anything."
"Take it easy, what are you crying about?" Patsy said to Benny while shrugging at Little Paulie in the back.
"Paulie, what do you think about the Hong Kong protests?" said Patsy, trying to change the focus of the conversation back to his knew knowledge base.
"The under-gooks? I say fuck em. Didn't they sign some shit 20 years ago or whatever allowing the Chinese in?"
Benny raised a hand and slammed it against the top of the wheel.
"Oooohhhh," Patsy and Little Paulie said at the same time, but Benny was tapped out, "Listen, to the both of you; no more crazy racist remarks when I'm driving. It's distracting, and... no, yea it's just distracting and the boss is gonna throw a fit if you keep it up. It's 2019. Get used to stopping now."

"Fuck youuuu you pretentious prick," Little Paulie said, unfazed, "Anyway, whatever, I think Trump's doing great. I say we send our union boys to go help build that fuckin wall. Be done in a week."
Patsy nearly dropped his phone,  "Are you kidding me? Are-you-fu-kin-kidding-me-over-here?!"
"What?" Little Paulie shrugged.
"You say that shit again and you're gonna be taking an Uber to the thing Paulie."
Paulie grabbed his groin and shook it a few times in Patsy's general direction, "Here's your Uber, right here. Check the app, estimated time of arrival, it's right - fuckin - here."
"Oh yea?" Patsy said, getting heated.
Benny took a wrong turn and cursed out loud,  "You guys with the apps and the this and that; will both of you shut the fuck up?!? I'm trying to concentrate, we're almost at the twins and we're gonna be late!"
"The twins, Jesus," Little Paulie sat back, settling down, but Patsy was having none of it,  "What's wrong with the twins? I'm a twin."
"Nothing patsy, I know you like em."
"You're goddamn right I like em, and Spoons woulda liked em too."
"They just creep me the fuck out, always so polite when in reality they're more like the walking talking versions of MERS or something."
Benny was glad to be rid of their previous conversation and chimed in, " Well that's what she needs. She doesn't need us. She needs someone who can make people think twice before trying anything.

Patsy scoffed at both of them, his phone lighting up again in front of his face. "The twins are fine. What she really needs is someone so bad that it scares every family on the eastern seaboard into staying away."
"A Luca Brasi," Little Paulie said, nodding as Benny turned back onto the right route, sighing with relief.
"A Luca fu-kin Brasi" Patsy confirmed with a single nod. "Fuck MERS, she needs the bubonic plague."

"She's working on it, believe me," said Benny.
"Yea, well, be careful what you wish for is all I'm sayin," Little Paulie finished, taking his phone out and checking his Instagram as well.