Floating in the Abyss ✔️

Chapter 50

"Good morning Laura. Chris, is it?" Ella asked, shaking their hands. She'd added an extra chair so that all three of us could fit comfortably in the small room. "How are you, Ash?"

"Good thanks."

We had some small chit chat about what's been going on and my progress. She didn't share any of the details I'd told her, which was reassuring, but I still couldn't help the butterflies in my stomach as I worried about what this chat would entail.

"I've asked you here to discuss the possibility of an aid for Ashlyn." An aid? Like a helper? "Although we've seen that the panic attacks are becoming less frequent, as you progress to more activities and have more exposure to people, I fear that they may become more present in your life, Ash. We've spoken before about your specific PTSD and anxiety and being at school, surrounded by lots of people and unpredictable events. This may cause any panic attacks to be even worse, especially if you're unsure how to handle it. Since you are starting back at school soon, I thought this would be a good topic to discuss now." School. There it was again.

"What are you suggesting?" Mum asked, listening intently.

"We've gone through many strategies on how to cope with these emotions and the panic attacks, but I believe something such as a service dog could be of great help to Ashlyn." Ella spoke very properly when she was around my parents. I think she was more relaxed around just me to help me feel more at ease.

"That is definitely something we would be able to consider." Dad nodded, approving of the idea. We already had Abi, so it wasn't like the house was unsuitable for a dog, or someone didn't want one.

Ella sent us home with a heap of pamphlets, giving us information about service dogs and what they'd do. She said to give her a call if we had any questions, which I sure was full of. Would the dog come with me to school? Would I have to take care of it myself? I'd never known anyone with a service dog and really knew very little about them. I set the pamphlets aside to read when I was in bed.

"When we're done eating, everyone needs to go in the lounge. We've got something to discuss." Dad announced as we all sat down.

"Way to ruin dinner, Dad." River rolled his eyes. "Now all of us are going to think we're in trouble or something, which by the way, it wasn't me, it was Jonah." Everyone laughed.

"Hey!" He huffed. Of all my brothers, I knew Jonah least. I'd never spoken to him directly, now that I think about it. He kind of just hung out in the background, which kind of made me uneasy. Who knew what he was thinking about me. "Can we have friends over tomorrow?" He asked.

"Sean is welcome anytime!" Mum exclaimed, seemingly hating he felt the need to ask.

"Not Sean, mum. Jonah got a girlfriend." Austin grinned.

"Ooh." River giggled. Everyone started teasing him, before he interrupted.

"She is not my girlfriend!" He yelled, punching Austin in the arm. I winced watching. Nick noticed and rubbed my back gently. He'd become my standard dinner buddy and was always the one I sat next to.

"So, there is a girl." Dad raised an eyebrow, smirking. Now I could see where the boys learnt it from.

"Yes, there is." He grumbled. "So can she come over or not?" I had to admit, he was pretty brave to have asked in front of everyone, although I'm assuming this wasn't how he'd planned the conversation out in his mind.

"Of course, honey. All friends, male or female, girlfriend or boyfriend, or not," She added, "are welcome in my house."

"I've got to be here for that." Nick smirked, relaxing back in his chair.

"Plus Ash, you'll be able to meet someone before you start school." The mention of school continued to make me nervous, and I didn't understand why.

"Ahh!" I mumbled to myself, taking the first bite of my pasta.

"You good?" asked Nick.

"Why does my mouth burn?" I frowned, drinking water to try and get it to go away. It didn't help.

"It's spicy to you?" He laughed.

"If that's the feeling of my mouth burning then yes!"

"Weak." Ryan mumbled. He'd replaced River in his spot today. I kind of missed his commentary.

"That's not very nice." I glared.

"Yeah Ryan, be nice." Nick flashed a smile. Now they were just mocking me, so I kept quiet and continued eating mum's famous pasta. It was good. But spicy. And I didn't like the spice, so the end decision was that it wasn't actually very good.

I got through about half of my bowl when my tummy was full of water and pasta, and I was sick of the spiciness, so I stopped.

"You've got to eat more than that." Nick pushed my bowl back to me.

"I can't." I groaned, slumping in my seat.

"More for me." Ryan grinned and grabbed my bowl, shoving a huge mouthful in.

"You won't be so lucky next time, Ash." Nick glared at Ryan for stealing my discarded food.

"Why do you care about what I eat so much anyway?"

"He's studying at university to become a dietitian." Ryan interrupted, mouth full of pasta.

"Yeah, and you don't eat enough."

"Well these meals are the biggest ones I've ever eaten." I huffed back. I regretted saying it straight away, but thankfully it was just Ryan and Nick that were listening to me.

"What do you mean?"

"Doesn't matter." I shook my head. He looked at me suspiciously but didn't push for an answer.

I was slightly grumpy with Nick after that, so I sat as far away from him as I could in the lounge, waiting for the discussion.

"So, before I start, you all need to know that none of this is set in stone. If you're not happy it doesn't have to go ahead, and we can work something else out." Mum started.

Ahh okay wow 50 chapters. Not much left of this story (like one main event) before we're going to the sequel! Let me know ideas you have for the last few chapters of this book and ones for Rising to the Surface!!

Also tomorrow is my last day of online learning and I've been online learning for 8 months so yeah hehe

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