Just A Nerd

Chapter Eleven

LISA

"I like you. Still do." The words come out of my mouth more easily and naturally than I have thought it would be. When Jennie is about to look at me, my grip tightens on her head against my chest. The last thing I want from her right now is for her to look at me like I have done something so ridiculous.

Then I continue with a little bit of burden off my chest. "I like you since the first day we met. I like you the way you like me, honestly. I love your confidence and everything you manifest yourself in the world. You are confident yet humble at the same time. You are kind, and you are so articulate in what you are doing. In fact, you are perfect. You are so perfect to the point where I know I can't have you." I stop with the bitterness at the end. It might not be good, but it's true.

"Why do you push me away, then? You know how happy I am to hear that you also like me." She mumbles against my chest. Her voice trembles with some sort of emotion, whether it's fear or excitement, I am not sure.

Somehow, I feel thankful for the rain outside. The sound of the downpour weirdly calms me down a bit. "I have my reason. In fact, everything happens for a reason, I guess. You are my first crush I have ever had in my entire life. No one knows. Only Jisoo knows it." I laugh at my stupid joke, which is not a joke at all.

"Don't blame her for not telling you because she wants to be my trustworthy friend, and she always urges me to tell you the truth, but I am just being a coward because, Jennie, no matter what, I am just the human being that loves looking at the moon. You are my moon in case you don't know. I admire you, but I can't have you. You know what I mean?"

This time, she pulls away, looking at me with her serious expression. "Lisa, I am not the moon or anything you said I am even if it's just hypothetical. Even if I could be, I still wouldn't imagine wanting to be someone you could never love. That's tragic and pathetic to be someone so high to the point where you can't have someone you love to love you back."

I shake my head, not approving of what she is talking about. "I know, but isn't it what we are? We can't have everything we want, but at least you have this life. You should appreciate it."

"Lisa, I have nothing you think I have. Despite my wealthy family, I have nothing. I am just like you. Can you make it easy for us? To just love each other without caring about someone or something like our friends do?" She asks hopefully, her eyes sparkling with a desperate need for my answer.

How can I explain to her?

How can I tell her the truth without hurting her?

"I don't want anybody to judge you, Jennie. I don't want you to feel ashamed of having the wrong person in your life. Look at your life, how beautiful it is. You have friends. You are smart. Everything about you is flawless." I comment, smiling to ease the tension a bit, but it seems like no matter how hard I try to explain, she doesn't get it at all.

She shakes her head slowly, "You don't understand, Lisa. You saw the man running behind me awhile ago. Just by the terrifying look on my face, you still think that my life is perfect?"

"Jennie-"

"Listen to me closely. I am not perfect. The friends you see I am hanging out with are not mine to say that they are my best friends, except Chaeyoung. The life you see I have also is not as perfect as you think. How could I even describe it? Terribly perfect? The man running behind me is a nightmare. In fact, he was supposed to be my fiancé. That guy is thirty-two-year-old. He's so creepy and awful...and..." She starts to cry again, as I am still shocked by the news.

I don't expect her to tell me the truth, nor did I expect that the guy in the black suit was her fiancé.

"My parents forced me to marry him. They said after high school I would be with him, happily married by then. They didn't ask me whether I agree or not. I don't love him or even like him, so one day, I lied to him that I am sick. I said I was terribly ill and had an infectious disease. Who knows this man with a multi-million dollars companies still believes this kind of stuff from a teenager like me?" She laughs a bit, wiping her remaining tears.

That explains why her parents agree to marry their daughter to him. He's rich, and they think that what Jennie wants, or rather needs.

"After that, he called off the marriage and married to another woman, but the man wouldn't let me free because he just realized that I lied to him. He often waits for me to talk about the unnecessary stuff after school, and today he became angry."

I touch her arm slightly, "Have he e-ever hurt you?" I don't know why, but my voice trembles when talking about someone that could potentially hurt Jennie. Then, I sigh in relief when she shakes her head. "He never hurts me. He's still afraid of my parents somehow since they are a little more powerful and richer than him."

"Why don't you tell them? I bet your parents would scare him away." I suggest.

"They will know that I lied to him, and they will know that I lied to them as well. My parents do not tolerate a liar." She weeps again.

"I am so sorry, Jennie." This time, I embrace her tightly. "I am sorry." I inhale her scent while rubbing her back in comfort. I haven't known that this beautiful creature suffers so much.

Then, I flashback to the last time I met them, and the words her father told me with his strong figure, and fierce eyes.

"You have a brain, but you lack all the things that make her live a better life. She has a high quality of life, and you needn't destroy it by loving her."