Chapter Twenty-Three

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"I heard you had a fun night last night," Christian says from across the table as he pushes my coffee over.

I've been sat with my arms above my head for a while. I lift my head and eye him through my knotted hair. I groan out as I pick the coffee up and bring it to my lips. I take one sip and bang my head back down.

Christian laughs. "I thought it was best not to bring Jackson, you probably don't want him to see you this hungover."

"I'm still drunk," I whisper, straightening in the chair.

"Yeah, that too," he laughs. "You should see the state of some of the others. Matthew left a trail of sick along an entire hallway, the guards dragged him out of bed at dawn to clean it up. He's still scrubbing it."

"How embarrassing," I mutter, my hands falling to my cheeks as I remember everything that I did. Some things are still hazy, but I can remember stripping in front of Cain and practically begging him to take me to bed. I want to die right here and now than ever have to face him again. "I've never been drunk before; it was like I was me but I wasn't me. I was such an idiot, Christian."

"Oh come on," he says. "It couldn't have been that bad."

"Think of the worse thing imaginable and then multiply it by ten." I stare at the coffee in my hand, my eyes widening as I replay it over and over in my head. I drink it quickly, hoping it might sober me up in time for whenever Cain comes back and yells at me. "What is that over confidence thing about? It's dangerous."

"It sure is." He smirks, finding amusement in my misery. "That's why I don't drink. They say our worst truths come out when we're drunk, the things we always keep hidden."

I nod my head. "That's one way of putting it."

I finish my coffee and I move on to the jug of water, my thirst is out of control, it has been since I woke up. I start swaying as my head spins, I place a hand to it and close my eyes.

"I think you should get some more rest," Christian says. "Sleep off the rest of the alcohol."

"Okay," I whisper, rising from the chair. "Thanks for the coffee."

I'm so disoriented that I bump into the bedpost and bang my toe. I hiss out and hop around it, igniting a small laugh from behind me. Christian eventually leaves and I close my eyes against the pillow. I'm too tired to hate myself, I'll do that later.

+ + +

"Aurora."

I stir softly, my eyes opening for a brief moment. "Hm?"

"Aurora, wake up."

I feel a hand gently shaking my shoulder and I open my eyes wider, meeting the eyes of Cain as he stands over me. I flinch myself awake and I push up against the headboard. He backs away.

"Axel and the council will be here in thirty minutes with the bidders," he says. "Will you be ready for then?"

"What?" I rub my eyes.

"I know it's unexpected but it's the only way to avoid a war among my species," he says. "Are you feeling okay? You look feverish." He places a hand to my forehead and I snarl at him, swinging my head from his grip. "Sorry."

"Just leave me alone. Please."

"I can't do that. You need to get ready."

I stare at him. Is he really not going to bring up last night? Is he not going to yell at me for being so pathetic and risking my life? I can't ignore it. The shame is all over my face, it's itching and clawing at my insides. I would never have had the confidence to do what I did last night had I not been drunk, I never imagined I had that in me. What if it had gone the other way? What if he didn't resist? Just thinking about it makes my cheeks flush with an unbearable insanity.

"Are you listening to me?" he says.

"Not really."

I know that I have a craving for him, something deep inside that sparks small flames whenever he comes close to me, but thinking about it and acting upon it are different. And last night, I really acted on it. He must think I'm nuts, that I'm as desperate as the other girls here. I've thought about sex before, I often fantasied about what it'd feel like with Jase at the nannery, but I wouldn't have ever gotten naked in front of him or groaned with disappointment if he had rejected me. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Aurora!" Cain says, snapping his fingers at me. "Are you still asleep or something?"

"Huh?" I mumble.

He suddenly smiles. "Are you thinking about last night? Do you remember it or do you need me to fill in some blanks?"

"I remember," I whisper. "I remember everything."

"You feel ashamed," he states. "Don't be. I found it amusing."

"Don't lie," I say. "You found it annoying."

"Both," he says. "But the reason I was annoyed isn't the reason you're thinking of."

"What was the reason?"

"I wasn't annoyed because of your actions," he says, dropping down to the bed. He reaches out and touches my cheek and I swallow. "I was annoyed because I couldn't do anything about it."

"I have never done anything like that before," I say, keeping my eyes from his. I'm scared if I look at him then I'll lose control again. "It wasn't like me at all."

"I know that," he says. "Don't forget I know you. Please don't ever feel ashamed by being human around me." He chuckles. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

I finally look at him and he stares into my eyes, studying them closely. He sighs lightly, leaning back.

"That sparkle of green in your eyes is so beautiful," he says. "Another side effect from our connection."

"So is the blue in yours," I say. "Is that another thing that's never happened before?"

He nods. "I don't understand it and I don't want to. I just trust it."

"I should get ready," I say, moving to the other side of the bed.

I go over to my wardrobe and I pick out some clean clothes, collecting some things as I make my way to the bathroom.

"I'll wait out here," he says.

"Mm-hmm."

I sit on the toilet for a while, the fear of facing the council again is making me nauseous. If this is the only thing that will stop an army from coming to the palace doors then I have to be brave enough to face it, without giving anything away. Cain hasn't even coached me on it, he must trust that I won't screw it up. If only I had that belief in myself.

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