Growing Into You (First Draft; Unedited)

viii.

Jayen

“Hello, Jayen.”

The woman standing there was both exactly what I was expecting and the exact opposite. She was tall, almost Maj’s height with dark brown hair. Her hair was tied into a tight bun with shoulder-length curls framing her face. She had almond shaped eyes and wore a neutral expression. Her eyes were striking. They pierced my soul and gutted me. She had a small freckle under her left eye. 

I stood up and brushed off my pants with one hand. I was holding onto the yellow rose still for dear life. Maj looked at me, a silent apology. 

“Good morning, my lady.” I bowed my head. My ears were heating up with embarrassment. I held out the rose to her, my arm stiff and awkward. She held a threatening and strong aura.

“It’s the afternoon now.” Her voice was smooth and sharp. Like a sword. She turned to Maj. “I did not know that keeping time would be a problem.”

I didn’t dare to look back up. Keeping time wasn’t a problem. . .at least, I didn’t think it was.

She reached a gloved hand out and took the rose. Her motions were smooth and elegant. “Thank you.”

I dropped my hand and raise my head. She was inspecting the rose carefully, holding it as if it might break at any time. She smelled it and closed her eyes. 

“This flower is lovely, but do not cut anymore unless it is necessary. Do you understand me?” Her tone was pointed.

“It was--” I started

“Do you understand me?” She cut me off, her voice was lower now, her tone was sharper like she was daring me to say something else.

“Yes, my lady.” I finally said.

“Are you ready to see the rest of the house, my lady?” Maj had her hands folded in front of her.

“Yes, take me to the master bedroom and have my assistant bring up the rest of my things.” She flicked her eyes over for me for only a second then brought them back to my eyes.

I felt weak and useless under her gaze so I lowered my head again. 

She turned and followed Maj back to the house. Her dress went down to her feet and it swayed when she walked. She looked elegant, like the dancers my brother took me to see when I was fifteen. 

I’m staring.

Was I the first one they saw? Did Maj bring her specifically to me? Was it all a coincidence? I didn’t mean to cut the flower. It was an accident and was I crazy or did she hate me already? She probably thinks I’m useless now.

I don’t like her.

I shook my head and got back to work.

Jinan was here.

Jinan was here.

We would be living in the same wing now. I had to get Aoife to move in with me. We could easily fit another bed, just in case. The rooms were large enough that two people could live comfortably in them without ever having to even knock elbows.

I pulled up a weed.

Did Aoife know what happened? She knew about Mr. Widmen so was it that much of a stretch to assume she knew about what he did. Who he was. He was such a good actor back then, is it so much of a stretch to assume he was better now? What he was actually better now? Maybe he really did change. 

I recovered the root of another plant.

How many times did he say he would change. How many times would he hit me the same day.

I brought my hand to my right eye.

He gave me such a bad bruise that I had to say I got in a fight with someone in town. I couldn’t risk anyone thinking, no, knowing how weak I was.

I pulled up another weed.

When I broke up with him I left the same day. I took three different carriages and took four side paths to make sure I couldn’t be followed. The day that I left was the day that I could finally breathe.

I thought about Widmen. He was the start.

I thought about Jinan. He was the worst.

Then I thought about Aoife.

I thought about Maj.

I thought about Kuna.

I even thought about Devi and Ferni.

Maybe they could be the end.

Maybe. . . they’d be my end.

I sighed and shook my head. I didn’t want to think about anyone. I just wanted to be ten again, living with my brother. When I could believe that Mr. Widmen would be the worst. I wanted to be able to sleep next to someone again without fearing for my life. I wanted to breathe again.

Aoife tapped my shoulder, throwing me out of my own head. She looked tired and her hair was slipping out of her ponytail. She smiled at me and I felt a little better.

“How was she?” Aoife sat down next to me. Her arm was almost touching me and I could feel the heat coming off of her.

“I don’t like her. She looked at me like I was stupid.” I shivered, remember the weight of her gaze.

“She didn’t even remember me,” Aoife laughed, she sounded so carefree, so light. “She called me Adelaine!”

I laughed along with her. I didn’t think it was that funny but it felt good to laugh. I didn’t want to think about them I wanted to think about her.

“Aoife, have you unpacked your bags yet?” I asked, testing the waters.

She shook her head.

“Can… would you be able to do me a favor? It’s a pretty big favor but it would mean a lot to me. You can say no, there wouldn’t be any hard feelings or anything like that--” I was rambling. I was scared to ask this, afraid of what it might mean.

Aoife cut me off. “It’s okay, you can say it.”

“Can you please move in with me? I can help you move your bed and rearrange the furniture to fit. I could even move your bags in.”

Aoife’s eyes were wider now, her cheeks had a subtle fallen blush on them. “Of course. We’re friends right?”

I nodded, I relaxed my shoulders. “Yes, thank you. I just didn’t want Jinan--”

“You don’t have to explain yourself. We’re in all of this together now, right?” Aoife put her hand on my shoulder lightly. “To be honest, you’re the first friend I’ve had since I was a little kid. I really hope I’m not. . . coming on too strong.”

I laughed and leaned against her side. She put her arm around and pulled me into a side hug. She was warm and smelled like apples and cinnamon. Being near Aoife was like lying in the warm summer sun, I felt warm and content. I didn’t think about Jinan for the next hour.