Knowing You

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Requilla POV

We spent the entire day in bed, getting to know each other's likes and dislikes, colors, and so on. I got to see a different side of him that had my heart swelling and stomach doing backflips.

I was tracing his tattoos over his body when one in particular caught my eye: "Shadow." Zaric always talks about how he'd like to find the person they call Shadow, and kill them because they were interfering with his boss's business. No one knew who he or she was, though; hence the name shadow.

In my eyes, they were both a genius as well as a threat. I mean, according to what I heard on the streets, they could hack into anything. But one day, they simply vanished. Most people thought they caught him, but I honestly believe he just chose to stop.

"Jae what does this tattoo means?", I wondered, tracing my finger over it, as he tense against my touch. An emotion flashes in his eyes before it disappears as quickly as it appears, which struck me as odd.

"If I tell you, you have to tell me what happened", he declared and I gulped, moving away from him. I was scared to let him in. Will he change his mind about wanting me and look at me differently? Will he see me as tainted, that I'm not worthy of his kindness. I felt a pain in my chest just thinking about his reaction.

I was brought from my thought with a hand caressing my face. I look up at Jadeen as he stare down at me in concern. "Whatever you have to tell me, will never make me look at you any different. I vowed that I will always be here for you, let me do that Requilla."

I felt tears welled up in my eyes but I fought to hold them down. "Okay", I finalize and got comfortable as he sat up.

He took a deep breath and released slowly. "I'm the one they nicknamed "Shadow." My eyes widen. He paused for a moment peering into my eyes, as if looking for something.

He continued when he realized I wouldn't say anything. "When I was in college, I became a hacker to support Mama with our financial problems. At first it was just simple hacking, but as the years goes by and bills started piling up, I started improving my skills and taking on bigger hits for certain dangerous people.

"I'd came across dangerous and filthy things, when I hacked these files. I set criminals free, made documents vanish, and a few people disappear. Anything to do with hacking, I did it. I'm not proud of what I did, but I needed to helped mama in some way," he explains, his shoulders slumped.

I smile at him as I turn his head to face me. "I would never judge you because of what you had to do to make a living. Just once, you're not a drug addict or dealer, a pedophile or a violent person." I slowly bring his lips to mine, kissing him softly. I felt him melt against me before pulling away, smiling. "Thank you"

"Su a my turn now don't?

"So it's my turn now huh?". He nodded before pulling me in his arms.

I swallowed, gathering the strength to begin. "I never had a happy childhood. My parents were drug addicts, so my home life wasn't pleasant at all. I was neglected , un-love and felt unworthy. That was until, I met my ex; Zaric," I paused, and he gently squeezed my hand.

"We started dating when we were in high school, and at the time I truly believed he was the man of my dreams", I chuckled, drily.

"He was the only decent thing in my life at the time, so I did everything I could to keep him." I rolled my eyes.

"After we graduated from high school, we moved in together, and that's when things began to go downhill", I breathe shakily.

"He'd come home heavily intoxicated, and if I tried to talk to him about it, he'd hit me. He'd beat me for everything and sometimes force me have sex with him," I said as his grip tightened around my waist. I turned to look at him, and saw that his jaw was clenched in fury. I wanted to stop but it felt like something was compelling me into telling him everything, so I continue.

"Then I found out I was pregnant", the first tear slipped front eyes. Jadeen's head jerks towards me. In his eyes, I could see the unspoken questions. But he remained silent.

"I was so excited. I thought having a baby would change everything. But when I told him, he got so upset. He was more angry than I'd ever seen", I grimace.

It felt like a lump was forming in my throat, as I tried to swallow.

"He beat me so brutally that I woke up three days later in the same spot, blood around and between legs and that's when I realize that I lost the baby", I burst into tears.

"He killed my baby Jae. I never get to hold or kiss my baby," I sobbed, my chest tightened. It felt as if my throat was closing up.

"After I accepted the fact that I had lost my baby, I knew that I had to leave; I couldn't stay any longer or he would kill me. So, I waited until he was very intoxicated before fleeing", I whimpered.

"I thought I covered my tracks carefully but he still found me. He fucking found me",I pull on Jadeen's hand, crying my eyes out. I was so afraid that he will get to me, and when he does, I don't think I will survive him this time.

Jadeen pulled me closer to his chest, whispering words of comfort, trying to calm me down.

"You don't understand. You don't know how it feels to find out there's a human growing inside of you only for it to be ripped away from you", I yelled. An excruciating pain spreading throughout my chest. My poor baby. I've failed as a mother. I couldn't even protect him or her, how will I be able to protect this one? I felt myself going into a panic attack. I tried to breath but it was impossible to do so.

"Quilla!", a voice broke through the haze. I lock eyes with Jadeen. "Listen to my voice baby," he pleaded. I force myself to focus on his voice.

"That's right baby, follow me. In and out", he took a deep breath before exhaling.

I grip his palm tightly, following his orders, until I was able to breathe normally again. I slumped against him, drain.

He rub my back, kissing my forehead.

After a while of me calming down he spoke up. "I understand, exactly how you're feeling."

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