Chapter 9: Let me make amends

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[Chris]

I was speechless. I was paralyzed. The only thing I could do was to stare back into her eyes as different emotions flashed in them; shock, fear, sadness, and I didn't fucking like any of them in those mesmerizing ocean blue eyes.

She was right. I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong. All this time she was working hard to make the ends meet for herself and her family and all I had done was torment her. I hated someone who deserved a fucking medal for being such a strong person. For God's sake, she had been working two shifts at weekends when all I would do, was go to the useless teenage parties.

I had made her life a living hell. I caused her to lose a job that was so important for her. And I had dared to call her whore when I was the one who had caused her to accept a job that was not suitable for her.

"Sorry, miss." said Jax, but none of us broke the staring contest. "I apologize for any discomfort that has happened to you. My brother had recently had an accident. He isn't feeling good."

"How much did you hear?" asked Eleanor with a voice barely audible. But I heard it clearly.

"Most of it." I answered quietly and watched her close her eyes tightly and take a deep shaky breath. Jax was only looking between us confused, surely shocked by my weird behavior. 

The next time she opened her eyes, they were full of sadness and anxiety. "Please, Harrington." she said quietly. "Just forget about what you heard, okay? Please don't talk about what you saw at school or to anyone. Please."

"I won't." I responded quickly, totally hurt by how low she was thinking of me. Although she had every right to think low of me. I hadn't helped her think otherwise ever. Yet still, for some reason, it hurt like bitch.

"Thank you." she mumbled and then walked past me, leaving me with my horrible thoughts.

How could she thank me now? God, I wanted to vomit from how much I was feeling bad, from how much I hated myself. I had destroyed her life and she was thanking me for not ruining her more. I was truly a monster. 

"Chris?" asked Jax while looking at me worriedly. "Are you fine, man? You look pale and your eyes are wide. Who was she?"

"I want to go home." I mumbled and turned on my heels and walked down the corridor just like Eleanor. I just needed to go home, so maybe this terrible feeling would go away.

Thankfully Jax didn't bother me. I just stared out of the window as Jax drove to the house. All I could see were Eleanor's eyes. Only now do I know how much I hated to see them full of fear and sadness when she would look at me.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as Jax stopped the car in front of the house. The front door burst open and I saw my mother rushing outside with a worried face. Behind her, I saw dad standing in the doorway. His face too was full of worry. I glared at Jax.

"Hey," he said with a deep frown. "You were acting weirdly. I was worried. You didn't even notice when I called them while walking out of the hospital and I was beside you."

"Chris!" said my mother as she yanked the door of the car open and cupped my face in the car. "Oh, dear. how are you? Do you feel pain anywhere? Why didn't you call me right away?"

"Mom, don't panic, I'm fine." I said trying to reassure her as stepped out of the car and tried not to wince in pain. "I just want to be alone."

"You look pale and somehow lost." spoke Dad who had appeared behind mom with a deep frown on his face. "I think It's better to take you to a private hospital to be checked again."

"I said I'm fine." I murmured as they followed me up the front stairs and into the house. "please, I want to be alone."

"Okay, honey," said my mother as I gently shrugged off their hands at the bottom of the stairs that were leading to the second floor and climbed up. "I will come up to check up on you in a few minutes. Just try to rest."

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