Roommates with Benefits [18+ only]

56. Too much to be real

TARA

Just as the elevator doors closed, I fell back against the wall, not crumbling to the floor merely because I wasn't alone. I didn't mean to be so harsh with him, but I kept hearing those two girls in my head, and I didn't know what to think. Why would he go as far as claiming he loves me, when he was supposed to tell me he has someone else?

Even though I am the living proof that people can be cruel, the part of me that remained loyal to him still couldn't believe that Lukas could be like that. Not the guy I know, not the Lukas I fell in love with. And yet ... I had proof, hard proof. That conversation I overheard couldn't possibly be about someone else, there were too many details. It was him, they were talking about my Lukas.

Every time I push past my insecurities to believe in him, something pulls me back to tell me I shouldn't. Even Kelly warned me, while she's normally an impulsive type and always told me to take a risk now and then. I don't believe in signs, but everything feels so ... difficult.

"Wow ... that was really harsh." The brunette woman next to me gulped. "I mean ... talk about being brutal." When I turned to her, I saw she was the one that had reopened the elevator doors for Lukas. Even a stranger could read it on his face and I couldn't.

"So ... does that mean he's single now?" The brown-haired woman in her mid-40s, standing next to the brunette, wondered out loud.

"Oh, for God's sakes, he could be your son." The brunette scolded.

The brown-haired woman smirked, kind of mischievously. "Well, thankfully he's not, otherwise I'd go straight to Hell for what I'm thinking ..."

The brunette elbowed her in the stomach. "Will you shut up? Don't you see his girlfriend is here?"

"I'm not ..." I murmured, but my voice broke. I felt like crying. Why do I cry so much lately? I didn't mean to hurt him like that. I didn't mean to be so brutal. I was scared, terrified. I thought he was going to tell me about that girl I overheard. Worse than that, I thought he was going to apologize for leading me on. Oddly enough, him being gentle about it would have hurt me a lot more. Instead I hurt him.

Even I could see it. With the corner of my eye I did spot it, the excruciating pain in those blue-sky eyes. I felt awful for doing that to him. But the things I heard, the conversation down to the last detail ... they even knew I texted him to ask if he had a hoodie I could borrow. That could not possibly be a coincidence. Now as ever I understood how Elinor Dashwood felt when she came to know her Edward had been engaged to Lucy Steele for four years.

I'm so tired of this. So tired of giving my trust to people that inevitably break it. The whole Cor thing was a misunderstanding, but there's no way this one was, too. There were too many details. I closed my eyes, feeling my head explode. I couldn't even go back home now, but I had no will of going out. That, too, I told Lukas I was going on a date with Aaron ... it was a big fat lie. I'd merely accepted a last-minute invite from Sean.

I shouldn't have lied, I know I shouldn't have. But I was so mad at him for the texts, the lies, everything. In the end, it's always the same issue. How can I believe he loves me, when everything points to the opposite?

🔥🔥🔥

"I see I'm not the only one in a bad mood." Sean commented, eyeing me dubiously as we grabbed the drinks we'd ordered. It was supposed to be just me and him, then Dee-Dee and Eli joined, and apparently Janelle works here, so she joined us when her dayshift was over. Sean and I had just offered to go grab the third round of drinks for everyone, even though I kept on getting a simple soda.

"I just have a lot on my mind." I admitted, albeit more focused on balancing the drinks in my hands.

"You wanna talk about it?" Sean wondered. "Janelle went out for a phone call, Dee-Dee will likely want to dance after the third drink. We'll have some time just the two of us. Or we can go outside. Whichever you prefer."