Roommates with Benefits [18+ only]

44. Not everybody leaves

TARA

"I'm home." I mentioned, laughing a bit to myself because that's what he usually says. When I told my grandma that I have a male roommate, she didn't bat an eye, all she said was: it's nice to have someone to come home to. I would have argued that it's not the same thing as having a partner, but then she added that knowing that someone was there to protect me in case something happened made her feel less antsy. She's progressive in many ways, but of course, according to her, having a man in the house for a woman still means being safer. I guess she's not entirely wrong.

For her it doesn't matter if Lukas and I live together without being a couple, what matters the most for granny is that he's a young and healthy man, so if, say, a burglar were to break in, I'd be protected. Ultimately, that's her main concern, that her granddaughters are safe and sound at all times. Kelly has Kevin, now I have Lukas. To her it doesn't matter in what sense I have him, it just matters that he's here to protect me in case it's needed.

"Lukas?" I called again, because I received no answer. The quarrel with his dad was rough, he came back home late – I think I heard the door around 2 am –, but this morning he seemed to be in a slightly better mood.

The thing about Lukas is that he doesn't hide his emotions, whatever he feels – anger, sadness, happiness etc. – you can see it all on his face, more specifically in his blue-sky eyes. He's closed off in a way, doesn't talk about his more private, interior life, but the raw emotions, they're easy to notice.

I kind of like that, even though I'm the opposite. I grew up Catholic, with a tyrant as a mother, I'm way too used to repressing and concealing, not feeling. Someone like Lukas that's so open in that sense is completely opposite to me and that's why I like it. Of course, his openness is only superficial, no one's allowed to dig deeper. Or at least I'm not. Leo says Lukas is a bit more open with him and Dion, yet not quite. It's like he compartmentalizes, one person is for a certain type of thing, the other for a different one and so on. I'm just not sure which compartment I am.

"Lukas?" I called again, since I didn't get an answer. I checked the kitchen, because at this hour he's usually there preparing dinner, but no sign of him. I checked the living room and his bedroom, but nothing. I considered texting him, but that would be clingy, wouldn't it? It's not like I need to always know his whereabouts, I'm not his girlfriend.

I decided to do something crazy, instead. I grabbed my tablet and went into the kitchen. Then I did the one thing my sister would deem me crazy for: I googled a recipe with the actual intent of cooking. I survived 3 years on my own by ordering in 5 nights out of 7, I never felt like learning how to cook. Until now, that is. I've really considered asking Lukas, but it's a bit embarrassing to admit that at the age of 21 I barely know how to cook some meat and prepare a salad. My cooking is so bad that I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, but Lukas has been stressed out lately and he always cooks, it'd be nice if I could spare him for once.

I didn't think it through, though. I literally googled: easy recipes for beginners, but either everyone is way more advanced than me, or people assume too much. Everything I saw that looked tasty also seemed too difficult to prepare for me. I also had to consider what was in the fridge, even though it seems always full with fresh ingredients now. It makes me feel even worse. When's the last time I bought groceries?

"Ugh, ok, I need to do this." I told myself, feeling determined to give back whatever I can in terms of favors. So much for being self-sufficient and independent, I've been relying on Lukas way more than imagined. Worse than that, I've pretty much taken advantage of his kindness. Well, more reason to do a little something for him.

🔥🔥🔥

"Am I dreaming?"

I smiled while stirring the pasta. "Pinch your cheek." I teased.