☁︎ ᘜᖇᗴᗴᑎ ᖴᗩᑕᗴ ☁︎ (under editing)

✿︎𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓 : 𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕕𝕠𝕘✿︎

ᗩᗪᗴᒪIᑎᗴ𑁍

It's been a while, a very long while and we haven't made any progress. How would when I broke him

Not once has he moved from his spot, it's as though his mind is beyond this world and I've never felt more guilty. I was his soulmate and he was mine, a thought that I came across when I subconsciously started to rub my marks.

A soulmate is supposed to make you feel as if you are the only thing that matters in the world, even though you are not. They are not supposed to break you beyond repair, but that is exactly what I did. This is why I didn't have my first kiss till I was 28, and why I never experienced love in the earthly world. Because I had love in this world, my mind may have forgotten but my heart did not. But I took that love for granted, failing to cultivate or care for it. For what? I shattered my own happy ending

I had just come back from collecting berries and fruit. I started eating while staring at Darius. I started imagining how much hatred he held for me, all of it meant nothing for as long as I don't remember justice will never be served for him.

Watching him be still triggered something inside of me. I took some of the leftover fruits and began to squash them. I went close to him, as close as I would dare. I traced his back with my clean finger and of course, he was as cold as I first felt him. I started to dip a finger at a time and just started drawing on him.

I had no thought of composition or pre-selected any colors, I just drew. I drew my sorry, his pain, and our circumstances.

I do not know how I had the guts to but I did, I went further up his back, tracing my finger on his spine to his neck, I held my own neck and remembered how he had tried to drown me, guess I haven't completely moved on from that incident but I brushed the thoughts aside and focused

I carried on drawing along his arms and neck. His leg and knee till I reached his face. I froze, piercing directly into his daggered eyes, as an artist this touched me as a human it broke me.

His eyes were like a bottomless ocean of guilt in which I was sinking. These lovely lifeless eyes frightened 
me and made my spine tingle. They were supposed to shine brightly, but I stole their brightness. These eyes were meant to stare at me in the same way Aldric does, tenderly and longingly, but how dare I assume they are capable of doing so? I'm at a loss for words; I've fallen for
 Aldric, but this man sitting in front of me was supposed to be my love. It's cruel and puzzling and I despise
 the jumbled mix of feelings I'm
 experiencing as a result of this 
realization.

Maybe my heart belongs to Aldric but now what I might be doing is mourning the loss of what was supposed to be. I can't fix this, I can't tell him I'm sorry and then he forgives me and we ride off into the sunset to fulfill our fate as soulmates. I get to be a princess with the perfect husband while in his life he will still be mocked and be left to try to pick up the broken pieces

I stopped remembering myself. I was so blatantly ashamed that I turned away, how dare I take advantage of someone else's pain,  a pain that I caused? How could I lack basic human decency

But I felt an ice-cold brush on my skin. With his finger, he raised my chin to face him. He tilted his head, his face unwilling to expose his emotions any longer. He drew closer, his weight pressed gently on top of me. I had to hold onto him so that I wouldn't fall. I have never been ever more close to winter, if he held me any longer I knew that I would freeze but I didn't pull away even after I saw frost beginning to form on my body.

"You made me a joke in both the kingdoms and all the courts, Every time I walk on this soil, I hear a laugh and an insult behind my back, because of you I will forever be a disappointment to my parents, because of you I'll forever be known as Darius the flightless never will I reign as king . Why do you always have to win? Since we were kids you won every challenge and knew all of my tricks and all my games... Why won't you let me win this once? Who do I hate now? A girl who can barely survive in this world, a girl who is so naive and careless. No, I can't hate that no matter how I twist and string my thoughts to hate you. I can only look at you and see a healing that was never meant to be mine. Fine Adeline you win, I'm nothing against you, as long as I live I'll forever be your dog"

As he spoke his last the last ice frost formed on me and I blacked out