Ntsumi ka Moreetsi

God's Not Favourite

Pheko squeezes my hand, Babe walks to me and makes me stand up to give me a hug. That opens my tears, I am convinced God hates me. Babe agreed to get me married because he knew he was dying. He brushes my back and leads me to the kitchen where Pheko gives me a glass of sugar water.
“I am so sorry my love. Please stop crying.” Babe rubs my back. My chest closes up and I can’t breathe.
“Take a deep breath, yes, just like that. Tell me what you can smell.” Babe. I laugh between my cry.
“I am sad, my heart hurts don’t be funny.” I look up t him and wipe my eyes. My lips feel swollen and hot.
“I am sorry, I love you okay.” Babe. I nod my head and get into Pheko’s embrace. He is standing on the island looking sad.
“We are going to be okay.”Pheko.
“I know, it hurts.” He pecks my lips. I frown thinking Babe is here and realize we are alone.
“Let’s make fun memories with the family and not worry the colonel.”Pheko. I nod and we walk to the table holding hands, he opens my chair after he takes his.
“You going to be okay. I am here.” Miso.
“Thanks”
“We are all here.” Uncle Ben. Everyone on the table agrees.
“I appreciate it. What’s the prognosis?” I ask looking at Babe.
“No Ntsumi.” Khensi.
“We might as well hurt today so that we start healing.”
“9 to 12 months.”Babe.
“So little time, Moreetsi we need that baby soon.” Babe drops his fork, we all laugh. He is giving me a death stare.
“Ntsumi, you are still young.” Babe.
“I know, I’m only pulling your leg.” I sniff.
“I made caramel tarts, please finish your food before I bring it out.” Babe. My appetite has vanished, only drink my juice and eat broccoli that Pheko feeds me from his plate. Miso and I clear the table, he asks for the bathroom and I show him. I find Pheko washing the dishes, I help him dry them. “Are you okay?” Miso asks joining us.
“I will be fine.”
“30 seconds guys come.” Khensi.
“Get the gin. Miso what do you drink?”
Miso and Pheko take our drinks and ice to the lounge. “I am playing with papa Derrick. Miso, mama and mama Khensi.” Nhlamu.
The game goes on until 1am. Pheko and Miso sleep in my room. Nhlamu, Khensi and I sleep in Babe’s room on the sponge.
“We haven’t slept like this in years.” Nhlamu.
“You are now girlfriends and wives. How could you?” Babe laughs.
“We are doing it every fortnight. Please rest Babe, we love you neh.” I state.
“I love you, Ntsumi ya mina.”
Sleep evades me the whole night. What will happen to me when Babe dies, will I still be recognized as his child? Will his family treat me the same. Babe wakes up from the bed and he goes to his bathroom. I hear his shower and I also go take a shower in the general bathroom. I get dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. Babe meets me in the passage. He gives me a hug, he feels warm.
“I want us to take a drive. I know you didn’t sleep.” Babe whispers. He disarms the house and takes his car keys. We drive 10 km away from the house there’s a small hill where you can hike up and take pictures, the view of the houses is visible. Babe tells me to get out of the car. He opens the boot and takes out a bat. I smile shaking my head when he hands it me.
“Pick a tree and swing your bat. Each swing tell me what you are feeling, remember this is your save heaven, let’s call it Switzerland.” Babe.
“I am angry.” *Smack.*
“Why are you angry nana?”Babe.
“Why are you sick? Who will I be with? Why can’t God take me instead of another parent?” *Smack, smack, smack.*
“Good, why do you want to leave the world?” Babe.
“I don’t want to be without you, what if everyone changes on me and I am left alone?” *Smack, Smack, smack. Heavy breathing*
“You have Pheko, my brothers and their families. You won’t be alone my angel.”Babe.
“People change, I will have no one. Where will I go for Christmas? What if Pheko wants a divorce?” I cry, the tears have been stinging my eyes.
“I am sorry nana, I really am. You will go to Elim and be with your family for Christmas. Ntsumi you know the house is yours. You have nothing to worry about.” Babe.
“I won’t have you.” My chest closes as I cry, the bat is heavy, I throw it on the ground and scream and kneel on the ground. Babe holds me firmly and let’s me cry.
“You are going to be okay Ntsumi, everyone in the family will be there and so will the Moreetsi’s. I wish I wasn’t sick, but look at the time God borrowed us. I watched you grow into a beautiful and smart woman. I know it’s not enough, I would hate it if you were sick. I love you and thank you for allowing me to be your father. I want you know that I am proud of you and it has been an honour being your father.” Babe, rubs my back. I have stopped screaming but the tears are still running.
“I love you.” I hiccup.
“It is going to hurt more when I leave but I want you to try and live again once you have healed my angel. I want you to open your practice and laugh, cry if you feel like it. I spoke to Pheko on Sunday, don’t be angry with him. Remember when we spoke about which cemetery I want to be in?” Babe.
“Yes, I do. I don’t want to talk about it now.”
“I understand, how about we have waffles and ice cream at your store?” Babe asks helping me get up.
“That would be nice.”
“Am I driving?” Babe.
“Princess please.” We laugh.
I drink water then we drive to Waffles Inc, I choose the booth seat. I order Belgium waffles and ice cream for the both of us. Babe holds my hand across the table while we wait. His phone rings and he answers frowning “What do you mean she is missing?” he asks. “Calm down, please hold on.” He says laughing out loud, then he passes the phone to me.
“Hello.”