Shadow Claw: The Life Story - The First Chapter

Ch. 15 - The Cure

ARE YOU READY FOR TEH FEEEELS?! :D

And I told him everything.

How I was abandoned at Grimmauld Place, how I was taken in by Sirius, how he betrayed me and I met Jenny and James, how I was tortured for information that I did not have, how I spent the first twelve years of my life in a dark attic, how I hated myself, how I loved my friend, how I felt so strongly about protecting them and finally, how many times I had wished death upon myself to ease the pain.

I had finally opened up to someone about it - and I needed it, though I did not realise it.

*

Another fresh wave of sorrowful tears swept down my cheeks, as Shade licked my head, trying to calm my sadness. Maybe he was the cure to my heart-ache? Or was he just going to cause more?

I sniffled, leaning into him and burying my face in his soothing fur. "And.. and I j-just want t-to die! But I c-can't! I'm so s-selfish!" I wailed, even more streaks streaking down my cheeks like shooting stars - but never had I wished this agony upon myself.

"Shhh, calm down. It's okay. I'm here for you, Shadow. You can lean on me for help." He murmured in my ear. Strangely enough, this calmed me to an extent where all I could do was sniffle instead of cry and weep. He licked my cheek - but it felt nice. I whimpered quietly and nosed his paws; he got the hint and lifted them up so I could slide my head under. I licked his paws that were soft to the touch, "Thank you." I whispered to him, closing my eyes that had lost their vibrant edge and was replaced with a dull light. "I didn't realise it but... I needed this."

"What are you trying to say?" He asked gently, licking my neck fur in a soothing motion.

"I needed to be able to have someone... like you. To open up to, to let out my.... my..." I trailed off, not really having a word for the storm inside my cold heart.

"I know what you mean, Shadow. And I'm grateful to you for letting that person be me." He smiled, and for once, in a long time, I smiled too - a genuine, warm smile. I had one last thing to say, but I wasn't really sure if I was- oh what the hell! I was going to reply my true answer to his question.

"Yes." I peered up at his confused expression and laughed quietly, licking his cheek. His face was overcome by realisation, "Yes, I will be your mate." He opened his mouth over and over, looking like a fish out of water. I blushed through all my dark fur and looked down. "Shadow... I... I don't know what to say." He finally managed to blurt out.

I slowly gazed back up him, "Then don't say anything. I have tonight to be with you, for tomorrow I leave for Hogwarts." I uttered a little sadly.

Shade purred loudly and tucked me into his side, placing his head beside mine and entwining our tails happily. I purred along with him, snuggling down into his pelt with my wings settled comfortably to my sides - the scars still showed from their disembowelment.

"Goodnight, my mate." Shade licked my cheek, and I blushed lightly, folding down my ears. I licked his cheek back and noticed how erratically my heart was beating. "Goodnight, Shade." I replied quietly before falling into the best night's sleep that I had had in many months.

*

"Shade, Shade... Shade, wake up." I nudged my mates side, hoping to wake him. I had decided to leave early so that I wouldn't get a big farewell meeting - I was still anxious around the pack - still am. Slowly but surely, Shade awoke with a wide yawn. I licked his cheek, "I have to go now." I mumbled, disappointed that I wouldn't see him for a whole year. His eyes saddened, "Why now?" He pulled me ontop of him, causing me to smile.

It soon faded as I reminded myself of the little time I had. "I have to - I haven't much time. Please, let me go now Shade." I licked his paw and he whimpered, laying his head down. "I'll be sad without you." He complained, standing up and brushing his cheek down my side. "I know. I know. Now don't go sleeping around - I'll see you soon. I'll send a letter. Farewell." I whispered my goodbyes, and he gave me a lick on the cheek with a small smile as he escorted me to the main clearing entrance.

"Don't go flirting with other boys. You're mine now." He purred, and I laughed softly, "Sure thing, big guy. But, really, I'll see you soon." I slowly backed away from him, until he said the one thing that I had hoped he wouldn't say...

"I love you." He called out to me, his eyes flashing with a feeling mixed with love, sadness, disappointment, a bit of jealousy and slight anger.

My face dropped into one of pure grief as I gritted my teeth and nodded before bounding away into the inky darkness of the dawn's forest. I held in my tears, but what I did not realise was, that I needed Shade like any animal needed oxygen.

I loved him too, so very much - but I couldn't admit it to him yet. I was so broken and shattered that whenever somebody tried to build me up again, either I'd let them down or they'd let me down. I sighed as I padded through the brightening trees. The morning was about to begin and so was my new life.

*

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