Chasing Calloway

Twenty One - She Wasn't Mine

Song Of The Chapter || 

𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓

Something grew inside of me after that day at my house in freshman year. The real talk we had about what Annie was looking for, about what made her want to love the way she did. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it was me being oblivious, maybe I was scared it would end badly and she would leave me. Just like my mom did.

But Annie and I somehow became even closer.

I felt all the more guilty being that close to her while I was dating Elizabeth. I didn't want Elizabeth thinking Annie had a crush on me and demanding we end our friendship.

Because I would choose Annie every time.

So I made sure the two of them became friends. I even had Annie help me ask Elizabeth out to homecoming. I knew it was awful, it probably hurt like hell for Annie. But Elizabeth never once suspected that Annie had any sort of feelings for me.

However, I never suspected what she actually picked up on.

| ★★★★★ |

When Elizabeth pulled me aside after gym class, I knew she was going to break up with me. It had been written all over her body language for the past three weeks.

I had basically accepted it at this point, I just wanted to know why.

"So." Elizabeth said, twisting a strand of brunette locks between her fingertips. "Let's talk about Annie." She says.

I knew it. She found out that Annie liked me. That she has deep feelings for me that were years old. She was going to have to break up with me because she knew I would never choose a relationship over Annie.

"Listen, I know Annie is-" I start. She cuts me off.

"I don't care what Annie did. I want to talk about your feelings for Annie." She tells me. It completely throws me for a loop.

"My what?" I ask. "Elizabeth, I do not have any feelings for Annie." I reassure her, trying to grab her hand.

She yanks her hand away in response before composing herself. "Don't lie." She demands. "You've already lied to me for so long, so at the very least stop lying to yourself." She looks like she might cry, but she fans the tears away. "I already decided I wanted to break up with you a while ago, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." She says with an apathetic smile. I get what she's trying to do, she's trying to hurt me.

Because I'm pretty sure I really hurt her.

"You don't get to see me cry over you. I won't let you." she asserts. "Because you didn't give me anything in this relationship. I couldn't give a damn about how Annie feels. As long as she never acted on it, she's not the one who owed me loyalty. That was you." She points out and I feel a pang of guilt. "I spent eleven months waiting for you to look at me the way you looked at your best friend." She spits out those last words, like they hurt to say. "I'm not going to hold on just for you to wake up one day and realize the person you want was never me." She brushes away the few tears that escape. "So we're done." She finishes and starts walking away. But she turns to me one last time before she walks away for good.

"A word of advice. Wake up. Someone will take her if you're not careful." Elizabeth smirks and walks away as my girlfriend for the very last time.

And this is how I know I'm stupid, because I didn't take a single word of her advice.

I lied to my only real friends. Nick, Lucas, and Annie. I told them that she said I was too engrossed in hockey and that's why we broke up. They all found it believable enough.

Annie and I became attached once again after that. Sleepovers at the other person's house, going to prom together because we "Didn't want to deal with dates."

Dancing together at prom because "Our parents would make a big deal about it if we didn't."

Neither of us really got asked out much after that, everyone just already assumed we were together.

But as far as I was concerned, we weren't. We were just really close friends and she may or may not have a small crush on me. But I had no feelings for her whatsoever.

Going to college together? A funny happenstance.

Getting apartments in the same building so we could be close to one another? What can I say, she's my best friend.

Telling the whole hockey team that no one was allowed to go near her? Simply something that an overprotective brother-like figure would do.

Having an affinity for hooking up with girls who have blonde hair? Purely a coincidence.

I was deep in denial. Because our friendship was so strong, but also so fragile.

One bad move and it would all fall apart, and the most important person in my life would leave me. Just like my mom.

Being friends with Annie, I could navigate that. Being in a romantic relationship was a whole new thing. Something I would never have to face. Because I was certain that I didn't have any romantic feelings for Annie.

Certain.

Until I saw her with Rhys that day.

In the ice rink, his arm around her waist. Him whispering in her ear.

Her boyfriend. A real boyfriend. Not a guy who I paid to go on a date with her, but someone she chose. She chose to be his.

The glances they give each other during class, walking to places together.

Her waiting for him as practice ends. Not for me.

Every interaction was a twist in a knife already buried in my heart.

One labeled Annie.

She was my weirdo. My beautiful, kind, exciting, hilarious, and incredible weirdo.

But she wasn't mine.

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Sorry this chapter is so short!!! Finals are kicking my butt so I've just gotta write what I can. Thx for understanding :)

If you want to, please vote, comment, follow, etc etc etc ❤︎

Question Of The Chapter: Crazy specific, but have y'all listened to Chappell Roan?

IShe's probably one of my new favorite artists I think she's INCREDIBLE!!!!

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Yours Truly,

November Summers