The Winner

Hold On

*Nate*

I wipe my burning eyes one last time while I sit in the car by myself. I'm now at the angry stage. I feel like I'm going to fucking throw up. I gave her all of me and she tells me she fucked James?? I should've known. It was too good to be true. Everything I felt...I should have known.

It takes Julia about 15 minutes to finally stir up the courage to walk back to the car. I'm so pissed off I can't look at her right now. She opens the door and sits in the passenger seat. I keep my blurry eyes straight ahead.

"Nate-"

"Please, Julia. Don't say another word." I start up the car and look over to her lap, refraining from looking in her eyes. "Buckle your seatbelt."

"Nate- let me please expla-"

I cut her off by hitting the steering wheel hard, making her jump.

"NOW IS NOT THE FUCKING TIME." I grip the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turn white and wait until I hear her seatbelt buckle in. I put the vehicle in drive and head back to the hotel, barely holding in the rest of my emotions. Julia knows to say nothing. She knows not to touch me. She knows not to look at me. I hear her trying to hold in her cry while looking out her window, and I hate that it still breaks me. I hate that I can't hate her. But I also can't stand to think of her with James.

We pull in to the hotel parking lot, both still silent. Grabbing my wallet, I pull out one of the room keys and place it on the console.

"Go in, order whatever you want to the room. Make sure you eat something." I mumble, still looking straight ahead.

"Nate No! Please! I want to explain!" Julia pleads desperately to be heard.

"Tell me, Julia." I finally make eye contact. I glare at her. "When did you sleep with him?" I question, half hoping it's not the answer I think it is.

"What??" She scrunches her face and squints her eyes at the question.

"When did you FUCKING SLEEP WITH JAMES!" I snap.

"Why does it matter when?" She seriously has the fucking guts to ask that?

"JULIA! WHEN?!" I'm now shouting in the parked car. She starts crying again and looks out her passenger window. I know exactly when, now. Her trying to dismiss it just answered my question. I want to hear her say it. 

"JULIA!" She flinches from my voice.

"The night you went to the hospital for your sister." Julia keeps her eyes staring blankly out the window as the words came out.

I knew it. My stomach drops. The night the hospital called me. The night Cara had a seizure. The night I asked James to keep an eye on Julia because Paul was already gone. The one night I probably needed her the most, she was with him.

"Get out." I throw the room key in her lap and start the car back up.

"Where are you going? Nate you can't be seen remember?!" Julia questions in between her whimpers.

"Get. Out!"

I look away as the ball of nerves scrambles to grab the key and her purse before opening the door. She looks at me one last time but I turn to look out my window, at all attempt to hide my emotions. Julia says nothing, fumbles her shaking body to get out of the car and walk to the side. I drive away while still looking in the rear view mirror to make sure she got in the hotel ok- before going out to the main road.

I don't even know where the fuck I am or where I'm going. I pull in to the first plaza I see and park the car. That's when I lost it. I completely broke down in the busy plaza, not caring who the hell saw me.