Chapter Nine-Part Three

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"Let us sacrifice our today so that our children can have a better tomorrow."

(A.P.J. Abdul Kalam)

   Mo Yeon stormed out of the auditorium, cupping her mouth with her left palm as she tried to disappear herself from the crowd and everything around her

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   Mo Yeon stormed out of the auditorium, cupping her mouth with her left palm as she tried to disappear herself from the crowd and everything around her. She was in tears.

   Moments ago in the auditorium together with Si Jin and the military personnel under his command, she received so much pressure from her crew, who furiously demanded an explanation for her wrongdoing. It was normal for them to get angry about this issue, since they felt betrayed by their own leader and were 'sold' off their security by her just to save one guy. They felt used, as if they were her toys to play with and then thrown away soon after when boredom set in. Angry volleys of verbal abuse were thrown at her, and it hit her hard on the face. Mo Yeon obviously had not expected so much animosity from the members of her own team, and that was all it took to shake that poor doctor's soul off her body, the effects if being unprepared caught up with her.

   Mo Yeon continued walking without even noticing where she was going, and where the lane would lead her in the end. All she had in her mind was to just break away from the commotion and enclose herself in somewhere discreet and silent, where nobody could bother her. The crying doctor literally ignored all the curious stares and whispers from the medical staff and patients alike. She needed to find some place to find solace, and she desperately needed it fast before her remaining will wore out.

   She could hear someone calling her desperately a few distance away behind her, the sound of heavy footsteps telling her that the familiar person was catching up on her. She didn't know why, but as if her body's completely alert on its own, she stepped up her pace. Soon, her walk turned into a fast-paced jog as she turned to the first corner she encountered, banking swiftly to the right. It led her straight away to the secondary staircase that led all the way up to the roof–the other undiscovered part of the hospital in which she never had the time to seek due to her busy schedules. She simply pushed the door wide open and got up as the door shut itself, but halfway through, she suddenly stopped.

   This was too much for her–the pain of being totally honest, the pressure of a leader, and the constant threading of the line between personal and operational goals building on her shoulders. It seemed to her that she had failed every aspect of that, and she felt ashamed of herself, completely. How could she ever be a leader under these circumstances, when the leader herself couldn't even solve her own personal demons? How could she uphold her Hippocratic Oath when she herself was biased towards her members? How could she still have the guts to call herself a doctor, when in the end, she would only cause way much damage to herself and her crew?

   She slumped to the steps in a fetal position, burying her head under the cover of her hands as she let her sorrow out from her immensely-troubled heart while she leaned on the cold, cemented white wall on her right side. The fear and self-doubt from her depression slowly yet steadily crept all the way in a mischievous manner up to her mind, using her sorrow as a chance to manifest itself and consume her in her own shadow, never again to see the light of day. No matter how much she tried to steel herself up, her emotions were getting a better of her. She was simply too weak to handle this on her own.

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