The Gift of Gulit

Chapter Nine

-Evan's Point of View-

"Stay put Ava I'm coming for you." I say once more before I hang up the phone. I rush to my car keys in hand. I unlock the doors and put the key into the ignition watching the car roar to life. I have an idea as to where she is, Clearwater lake. It's close by and I used to go fishing with my father there all the time, well before he left me and my mother and sister. Asshole. I push those thoughts away and worry about Ava. She was drinking so it must be bad. I hope I'm not too late, god Ava why?! Something wet touched my cheek I wipe it away, I hadn't realized I had been crying. I can't let her die I can't. I run stop signs and lights until I reach the lake in about 3 minutes. I run out of my car not caring if someone steals it or not, Ava is more important than something that can be replaced. If she is gone, she will never be replaced. I run down to the board walk and see her shoes and a hoodie on the platform. No sign of Ava. Oh no I'm too late. Shit. No. I sprint to the board walk and look down her body is in there I see it. I suck in a breath and dive in, the cold water around me. I open my eyes and see Ava, sinking, I swim over to her, my oxygen running out. I grab hold of her and bring her above the water. I gasp for air and lift her onto the board walk. I crouch down and push her chest and blow air into her mouth, CPR.

It's been almost 10 minutes and I'm starting to give up. My eyes are blurry, wet with fresh tears. What if she doesn't wake up? I keep repeating the procedure. It's 15 minutes and I stop. She's gone. I cry and start to sob more and more. It's all my fault... If only I got here on time! I sob harder. How could I let her die?! Ugh I'm the worst person ever. I then understand the pain Ava is going through. This is how it must've felt to her. This sinking feeling in your stomach your heart twisted on knots. I pick up her limp body and carry her, how am I going to explain this to her brother?

Suddenly I hear coughing. I look over to Ava, coughing. She's coughing! She's alive?! Oh my god.

"Ava!" I cry happily and set her on the ground and pat her back to let her get the water out. I watch her open her eyes and cough up water and all of the alcohol she drank,which doesn't look like much . After she is finished she looks up to me. Looking scared and disappointed.

"I'm sorry." She says her voice trembling. I shake my head.

"You don't have to apologize you were frustrated okay?" I crouch next to her and embrace her soaking body. She nuzzles her head in the crook of my neck. I squeeze her gently; being fragile to the broken girl in my arms. I lace her hair in my fingers and stroke it to calm her down. Then it's quiet, as we sit here and think. I then stop stroking her hair and decide to speak.

"Ava...you...were gone." I choke on the last word. She slowly turns her head towards me, looking at my eyes staring at me.

"Ava did you hear me?" I ask worried.

"Yeah... I heard you." She replies turning around once more.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask turning her towards me gently with my thumb. She looks down and looks upwards at the sky.

"Maybe..." She says still staring at the sky. "Maybe...I should've died. I felt more at peace you know? Now, I'm back here and I think...it's not....where I belong." She sighs. I look at her, she's not herself. I'm terrified for her. What is going on through her mind?

"Come on Ava, Let's get you home." I say and cradle her in my arms, she doesn't object and let's me carry her to my car. Thankfully it's still there and I put her in the front seat and strap her. Funny, I do the same with Riley. I smile at the thought and close the door on the passenger side. I check my watch. 4:00 pm, it was almost 2:00pm when she called me. I then get into the driver's spot and turn the key and drive off.

"Want to go to your house?" I ask looking at Ava. She's still soaked, her hair wet and curly, shirt damp, hoodie in her arms and cell phone somewhere in that hoodie. Her face looks drained and her emotion doesn't change.

"No. Can we go somewhere else?" She asks quietly. I nod, understandingly. I drive back to my house, my mom isn't going to be here for the week and Riley is with her, they're visiting gramps and gran, I would've gone but I told my mom I needed to study. However, it was a lie, I couldn't leave Ava. I'm glad I didn't go because then she could've really died.... I shake the thought from my mind and park the car in the driveway and lead her towards my house. I open the door and she follows behind me.

"welcome to my house. Mi Casa Es Su Casa." I winked, hoping to get a smile from her. She looked at me and laughed a little, but still lacking emotion. It's improvement , I guess. She looks around and I lead her to my room. I sit on my bed and look at her.she parts her mouth,

"Do you think, I can take a shower, I feel um, nasty." She says.

"Yeah you can use the guest bathroom." I say and lead her to it. I hand her a towel and leave my door open in case she slips or something. Suddenly I hear the water running and sigh as I lay my head on my pillow and wait for her to finish.

-Ava's POV-

Beads of hot water are hitting the surface of my skin and I relax closing my eyes. I still see it, them, my parents. Right when I plummeted to the bottom of that lake and began to loose conscience, I saw my parents being shot and the Same mistakes that I had made. Then they slowly began to disappear, and all I could see was white. That feeling of letting go, was both painful and exciting. It didn't last long before I was tortured once again with my thoughts and saw the day replay in my mind and they were saying it's all your fault. I open my eyes and I'm still in the shower, I stop the water and dry off. I look around in the bathroom and find a pair of sweats and a shirt that is way too big for me. I put it on and slip on the pants. I head over to Evan's room, and enter. He's staring at the wall, reminds me of well, myself. His head snaps at the door when he hears me come in. He smiles at me and pats his bed. I climb into his bed and he pulls me close. I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes, taking in his scent, he smells like laundry detergent and colone. He strokes my arm, and as I'm slowly drifting off he says, " I love you Ava, and I would do anything for you." I don't have time to answer back because before I know it I'm asleep, safe in Evan's arms.