The Gift of Gulit

Chapter Thirteen

Ava's POV

I am on a bus. A smelly shit hole. I miss Evan, I miss Danny, I miss everyone, especially my parents. I look out the window and see the sign that says "you are now leaving California." I sigh and feel myself detaching from my old life, in a good and bad way. I look down at what I brought from my house: a duffel bag full of clothes, my phone charger, the pills jenny gave me a long time ago, my blades, my phone, earbuds, money from the safe in our house which was about $5,000, and my mother'a journal. I close my eyes and rest my head on the broken chair the bus has provided for me. I see Evan's face, his beautiful blue orbs staring at me, hurt when I ran away. I sigh and open them back up. I glance around the bus that I have been riding for almost two days now. In front of me there is an old man reading a newspaper, struggling to keep his paper straight because his pale hands shake badly. A few seats behind me there is a couple about 29 or 30 years old smiling discussing where they are going to go for our next stop. Then beside me on the other row is a young girl about 7 or so staring at me. She has silver hair, brown eyes, pink lips, and a pale face full of curiosity. I envy her, she is pretty, she has nothing to worry about in life. She can dream and never have nightmares, she can live her life to the fullest without worrying about hurting people or reflecting on her past 24/7. Or maybe I'm wrong, maybe she is fighting a battle inside her cruel evil mind. Maybe she is running like I am, far away from home. I turn back around facing the window and I'm left to my thoughts, the ones that never seem to leave my side. They are needy for my attention and I give it to them.

You're a coward for running.

I know.

You're a mistake in this world.

I am.

You deserve to die.

I do.

You're leaving Evan, you're destroying him.

It's for the best.

My head snaps out of my thoughts when I feel the seat next to me sinking down a little. I look over to see the Silver haired girl sitting next to me. She looks up at me with her big brown eyes that seem to pop out of her head. I look at her not knowing what to say until she speaks first.

"Where are you going?" She asks me, curiously watching me. I took my headphones out of my ear and look away.

"Far away from this place." I respond to the young girl.

"Why?" She questions interested in my whereabouts. I turn my head at her.

"Why do you want to know?" I cock my head to the side. She just shrugs her shoulders and looks at me, expecting an answer.

"I made some mistakes in my past, a lot of them. I'm running from my problems." I sigh just telling the girl, no point in masking it anymore. Honestly I don't give a fuck anymore.

"What kind of mistakes?" She asks meddling into my life.

"Atrocious ones." I say shaking my head at the memories.

"Oh. " she replies looking down kicking her feet in a tempo that matches the best of the bus's wheels churning against the road.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her, wondering why a little girl is traveling by herself. I guess you could say the same for me but I'm 17 now, this is different. She looks back up at me and smiles.

"Helping you." She replies nonchalantly, kicking her feet faster now.

"You barely know me though." I point out, she frowns and stops kicking her feet.

"You know me and. I know you, more than you think." She says.

"Now get some sleep you look tired Ava." She says and I begin to close my eyes. Although I'm not controlling my eyes, a force is making me sleepy. And I realize one thing...the girl knows my name. I never told her my name.