Don't Matter

Chapter 41

"Have you ever needed someone so bad?
But he ain't willing to make it last
Sometimes you gotta lose to win again
If it makes you cry, cry, cry
And all you do is fight
Can't get no sleep at night
Sometimes you gotta lose to win again."
Fantasia "Lose to Win"

Ashanti

The Starry Night.

And I'm not talking about the famous painting by Van Gogh. I'm referring to the million balls of gas that are twinkling in the sky right now. Look at me getting all fancy with my words.

B*tch, it's my birthday!

I'm 23 and still going strong despite some of the surprises I've already received this year. I never thought that I would be so blessed at this age and I can only thank God for that.

Lately, all I've been worrying about is getting accepted at one of the universities I applied to. I won't know the final decision until the end of the month. Ugh, I hate waiting.

It's just like when I'm reading a bomb *ss book on Wattpad and the author ends a chapter with a cliffhanger, making me wait forever for the next update to find out what happened. I won't say any names.

"Come on, do some sexy poses for us!" Teyana was taking pics and recording every little thing I was doing. I couldn't stop smiling while I was whipping my hair from side to side. I got my nails done, and the girls picked out my outfit and all of that good stuff.

The crew planned this elaborate party even after I stressed that they didn't need to. But hey, we are about to get loose.

I didn't get a chance to actually survey how the club looked before the girls dragged me up to the balcony, but I stole glimpses of the pink and black balloons that were literally everywhere you stepped.

"Let me get a photo with Queen!" Chris shouted as he rushed over to me nearly knocking me down. He's looking spiffy though; in fact, everybody does especially me.

"Boy move! She's my best friend." T and Chris started bickering like little kids.

"How about we all take a family picture?" Sean suggested. I bet if you were looking into my eyes, you could see a sparkle because I felt a rush of emotions.

Teyana and her mom have been my only family ever since my parents died. Plus, Reese was one of the best things that happened to me when I was drowning in depression.

There seemed to be a dark cloud following me everywhere after they were gone. No one wanted to hire a teen fresh out of high school without much experience. To keep up with the bills, I turned to stripping. It wasn't my first choice, but the long nights I worked made me appreciate the men and women who work hard to take care of their families anyway they can. My parents left me money in their will, but it wouldn't be released to me until I was 21. I worked at the club until I was 22 to make sure I had enough saved for the future, the rest of my tuition, and the move to Cali. I'm here now; Teyana and I are happy, and Auntie is enjoying the fruit of her labor. I pray my parents are proud wherever they are.

I remember when I met everyone for the first time almost a year ago. They welcomed me with open arms, easily accepting me and crazy Teyana like we had always been part of the clique from the jump. I hope we can remain friends no matter what happens between August and I.

"Who's going to take it?" I asked.

"I can." Looking in the direction of the voice, I saw Joseph. Did I mention how handsome he was looking?