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Dear Myself,

It's my birthday, today, I am finally an adult, I am finally eighteen. Just not the kind of birthday that I predicted for myself exactly a year ago. As dawn broke, I stretched and prepared to get ready until I noticed the happy birthday banners across the door and walls of my room. Someone had crept in and re-decorated the place as I was in a deep slumber. Wonder who that was? A bag of presents sat on the floor by the cushions much to my surprise, they weren't there from yesterday. Suddenly, Michelle walks in singing the birthday song as I like to call it and carrying a little cake with a single lit candle in the middle. Making a wish, I wished that us would stay together and blew out the flame to grant that wish. Her parents were downstairs cooking some food but she told me to stay in bed and she would serve me. Out of the blue, she threw over a tiny parcel which felt soft to the touch. Inside, a cute little teddy bear which had a little knitted shirt on it saying I love you. I died just a bit inside about how sweet the present was.

Logging onto my social media, I noticed the number of well-wishes that were flooding into my inbox, some from friends, others complete strangers. Damien somehow had messaged me and hoped the day's activities were enjoyable. Nothing from either of my parents or Leia weirdly enough. But the main person I was spending the day with, Michelle had changed into a summer dress with a neat bun that kept her hair back from flapping on the side of the face. The plan of action was simple: Go shopping and hang out for a film showing at the cinema or any gigs happening in the city.

On the centre of the big dining table sat a massive display of flowers that spelt out my name, sitting proudly were red and white roses which just so happened to be my favourite flowers. My heart swelled with pride, Michelle had made this while I was asleep obviously since I had moved into her spare room and slept early at nights, she quietly worked hard to snip the roses and organise them in a way that would be memorable. Posting photos of them to my social medias, then a snapshot of her holding a spare rose she had kept over, this little gesture was something I would always cherish no matter what happens to us in later life.

In town, both of us went as a joke into some shops that we would never want to be seen in. The first was this boutique selling some expensive designer dresses for events such as weddings and proms. If only there wasn't any staff members around, then both of us would be trying on the stock and maybe even sneak one out from right under their noses? Then, we ended up in a shop selling bras and other forms of sexy underwear that made me giggle when she playfully grabbed one of the flashy bras and try to hook it on over her shirt. So mature... not! Dodging in and out of places, we finally ended up at the Waterstones store where we had met for the first time just a few months ago and so for old times sake, entered to look for a book to seal a happy moment in our lives.

Michelle does read but sadly not as much as I do. Over time, I suspect that will change since a book I managed to borrow from the library called Moxie somehow ended up on her bedside table. I certainly didn't put that there, books don't have legs so walking was impossible. A few titles caught my eye on the buy one get one half price table and sure enough, tucked in my arm carefully were two paperbacks I had seen a lot of buzz for online yet places like Amazon had sold out of copies and ordering hardbacks from abroad would cost a significant amount of money considering I was still unemployed. She then noticed the sale table and picked up two for herself. Suggesting that we should start a joint book collection, she clapped her hands with delight knowing that my copies of books could end up in her room.

Grabbing a quick snack in a cafe just down the road, we finally arrived at the cinema to check out what films were on show. Inquiring about the prices however turned out to be a complete joke. Even with Michelle's student pass, we would only get a pound off our seat prices and since the total would still be around £25, that rang warning sirens in my head. No thank you cinema! Instead, we made use of the local park to sit in the sun and watch a film from her mobile phone. She has Netflix so together, we scrolled through the new additions playlist and found a random romantic comedy film that had some good reviews. My final views were that the film had its shining moments but the insta-love felt totally forced. On seeing some more new messages, I finally heard from Leia who was busy (or so she claimed to be) wishing me well and asking more on the first love situation since after a while, I did open up to her about my feelings for Michelle. Honestly, having the girl is the best present that I could ever ask for. No books or flowers even though I love both things would make me the happiest person. It would be her that would float my boat forever.

We got back rather late from the city and climbed into the bed in her room for a cuddle and another movie which I enjoyed called Cheaper By The Dozen. Her laughter echoed around the walls and outside the open window, her Mum yelled up asking what was the thing that was making us create loud noise. Don't we both love letting the street know we exist? Glancing at my two new book purchases, They Both Die At The End by Adam Silvera and Beautiful Broken Things by Sara Barnard, I felt super excited to start reading them for myself and even writing about them too. Just this time round, I will keep my copies out of sight, you know, in case they do decide to walk...

Finally Diary, my turning from teen to adult today wasn't as daunting and upsetting as I thought it was going to be like. My emotions did tingle when I found an old photo of me and Mum looking young and having a fun time. I do want to store these memories but as of right now, I need to be the adult that follows the rules as well as be myself. If no-one likes that, screw them. That's all I say on the matter. I still wait for the reply from the City College, Michelle had her offer a short time back to do Childcare which we celebrated quietly together with a kiss and iced Pepsi out in the warm sunset. A beautiful sight.

Yours,

Morwenna.


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