Letters To Myself (#Nanowrimo2017 Winning Novel!)

47,

Dear Myself,

Oh my God, oh my God and um... Oh my God? This week has been nothing short of drama and excitement within the household. Starting with Michelle formally deciding not to return to College stating that she was finding things difficult to mention and overwhelming depressive thoughts were clouding her mind up. She couldn't focus and was super worried if the kids at the placement would pick up on that fact. At this moment in time, she is just having a breather from everything and not with little kids running around. The morning she expressed her honest thoughts was when I finally got to see my love smile as if to say that a huge bundle of weight had finally fallen off of her shoulders. It will be hard since I have decided to continue the course until it ends next summer since it allows me to build good, strong connections with others in the outside world.

Overall, my anxiety hasn't been too bad apart from worrying about Michelle frequently. One strong desire for a reading challenge has still lingered with me from last week so I will give it a go at some point next year. Maybe over the summer break? Or around spring time? There will be a need for planning and getting other bloggers on board with this fun task at hand. But I think she would want to get involved. I haven't mentioned the desire to anyone else other than you Diary, worried that the family will find me too insane! I am quite driven and ambitious but that's most likely to do with my nature and wasn't something that I grew into. Born with it is what I am trying to say.

I haven't really spoken to my family and neither have they made attempts to contact me either. It all feels like a distant memory now, the day that I walked out and moved in to be with my girl. But it feels like a lot of the tension is over and done with for now and that is a good thing. I really need to buckle down and concentrate on the tasks at hand which is continuing to work hard and not fall into any trouble or lose her as my love. I managed to bring home secretly a little cake for Michelle and plonk it on her desk. Hiding in her wardrobe, she came into her bedroom, saw the cake and then I jumped on her as a surprise. For a second, she actually didn't recognise me but when I flashed that familiar smile and embraced her, all of the love really settled in.

Right now, is the most important part of this whole entry... We adopted a kitten! This has been a little while in the making but it was an idea to add a new addition to an already growing family. Michelle spends most of the time alone and she needs a furry companion to keep her close and warm during the cold, winter months. We weren't keen to go for a litter that had been breeded by someone we didn't know. I mean, I personally don't have a grudge against that but because the motto of the family is to be accepting and starting a new adventure with new friends, we went to the local animal shelter to look for a kitten. When the car pulled up to the main entrance, the sounds that greeted us were mainly the dogs barking from the outside kennels, just to try and get some attention. One bark in particular reminded me so much of a dog an old primary school friend used to have. He sadly died just after I started at my old secondary school but his bark was one like Scooby-Doo... Maybe it was the growling and not the barking. See Diary, the mind can play strong tricks on you.

Entering the main reception, I noticed a little girl wearing a huge smile across her face. She was with a cat in a basket who was meowing loudly which I guessed was a mixture of excitement and fear. I mean, you are so used to being put away in some kennels or cages and left for long periods of time with not much to do. Now, having the freedom to explore in either a new flat or house with a back garden. The plan for our new kitten was not to let him or her out of the house until they grew bigger in size and could fend for themselves. I didn't mind what colour fur the kitten had but secretly, I could tell that both Michelle and her Dad wanted a ginger kitten because they like gingerbread!

Getting shown through all of the various cages that displayed various litters was an eye-opening experience. I could see little bundles of fluff hiding underneath a bigger bundle of fluff, the Mum cat obviously. After peering into a few, I spotted one that slowly looked up at me and unleashed a wide yawn in amusement. Not helping myself, I started giggling which only gave the kitten more attention and wanting to be close to me. Pushing its tiny face against the glass and meowing but coming out more like a squeak. This kitten wasn't ginger but a grey tabby which my heart let me know through fast beating that this was the one I wanted for the family home. Michelle spotted the whole encounter and joined me in checking out the grey tabby for herself. She smiled and gently waved one of her fingers towards the glass (not the middle one, that would be far too rude!) and started to talk to it like the kitten could speak English back to her.

This is the one! We both exclaimed to two very amazed parents who kind of guessed that we might end up being at the animal shelter for hours rather than just half an hour. We were both sure and funnily enough, they were sure too. After signing paperwork and getting all of the essential supplies, the grey tabby kitten came home with us! A beautiful girl that is now called Snowy, for the time of year that she came into our lives since it is now winter! I am super glad that we got her just before Christmas because that was a very happy pre-treat for everyone, just having another friend to enjoy the happy things in life with.

Myself, Michelle and Snowy are just like a little family. That's all I could ever want to be honest. I did blog about the new arrival and one of those kitten fan accounts retweeted my picture to all 100,000 of their followers which was unexpected. But hopefully, this year's Christmas will be a happy one. Just don't eat too much rich food Morwenna!

Yours,

Morwenna.