Just a Little Sugar

Masculine Chocolate

Mark was stupid.

Very stupid

He'd known that. All his life.

One day your mouth would put you into trouble

He'd been told times without number. Today seemed to be that day.

Sugar was staring at him. It'd been at least five minutes, he thought, and she hadn't said anything other than her awkward stutter. She just stared at him with the ferocity of his neighbour's Rottweiler that weighed as much as a human.

Yep. Today is definitely the day.

His mouth had betrayed him.

...or was it his brain?

Today he was going to get eaten. But not by his neighbour's human sized dog, no.  Today he was going to be eaten by his girlfriend. And he didn't mean eaten in the overtly sexual way he was used to. Nope.
She was actually going to eat him, as in tears him to shreds... As in blood splattered on the floor kind of eating as in his bones crushed and mangled all over the floor type of...

"Mark" Sugar's voice pulled him out of there mental hole he was digging himself into. Her voice was calm, sweet, almost high pitched.
Mark would later learn that this was the voice that Sugar used when she was sincerely trying not to kill someone. He would learn to be afraid when she spoke like that.

Her voice, her real voice, rough and scratchy and a little too deep for a woman, was a voice he'd come to love. And think of,  and fantasize about. It was beyond sexy to him.
But this wasn't the time to think of Sugar as sexy, No.

"Mark" She said again. Her voice sounded sickeningly sweet.

Definitely not the time to be thinking of sexy. Mark reiterated in his mind.

"Huh" Mark hummed. Great,  now he was dumb too

"You're not going to get married, you said that yourself" Sugar repeated

"I think I love you Sugar"

Sugar laughed. "Mark, please don't do this" she begged.

There was something. Something in the way she said it, that made Mark scared for her. Like she feared the things to come. Or feared the fact that he might actually mean it. That he might actually love her.

"You're joking. It's fine. You don't have to do or say what you feel is expected of you just to make me happy" Sugar said using her index and middle finger to make air quotes while talking

"I'm not doing that" Mark replied slowly. What was he trying to say?
Why wasn't his mouth able to translate what his brain wanted to say?

"I'm sorry " he said

Sugar chuckled "It's fine"
Her voice was back to normal
Scratchy and deep and it did things to him.
Yep. It was the voice, that made him unable to speak, and her face and her hands and her...

"No I'm not sorry" Mark blurted out.

"What?!" Sugar asked turning back to face him.

"Shit." Mark cursed.
I'm really doing this. Mark thought to himself. Might as well go down with everything I've got.

"I'm not sorry I said what I said" Mark shook his head, "I'm not"
He looked at Sugar, the fear was back in her eyes.
What was she so afraid of? Mark thought.
I could ask you the same question. What are you so afraid of? His brain replied him and he almost chuckled at the thought. A pot and a kettle.
A bunch of messes that's what they were.
Two screwed up people, who counted their losses so much and never giving themselves time to live.

"I'm not sorry, Sugar " Mark repeated

"Please don't..."

"You know why?" Mark asked. Sugar was silent. "Because, even if I didn't mean to say it. I'd be lying if I said it had never crossed my mind"

"Mark"

"Some mistakes aren't really mistakes Sugar. Maybe something inside me wanted me to say that because it knew how good it would feel afterwards. What's that thing called? A freu... "

"Freudian slip?" Sugar said

"Yes. That. A truth masking itself as a slip of the tongue. That's definitely what that was. I'm not going to pretend that I don't care. I'm not that much of a dick. I like you Sugar, more than I have liked anyone else ever. Maybe it's to early to say I love you, but honestly who the fuck cares? I love you. I won't say it if it freaks you out. But I do." he held her hands

"I care so much honestly it freaks me out how much I care. And God I thought Richard was foolish. When he talked about Rahmat like she was the second coming of Christ. Like she walked on diamonds and rainbows.  I thought he was so foolish.  But now, when I look at you... I completely and totally get it. I get it. Everything about you is intoxicating, I could speak about you for days, your eyes, your voice, the way you bite your lip and squint in concentration when your working. God, I get it now" he said tracing lines on the back of her palm with his thumbs. His eyes never leaving her face.

"Mark. Please don't say..."

"What is it?  Why are you afraid?"

"I'm used to losing things in my life Mark." she said. Her eyes were glossed over as she bit back the tears.
He'd never seen Sugar cry before. He hated it. He never wanted to see it again. He wiped the tears that fell on her cheek.
"I lost my mum, my dad, I lost my leg,  friends, relationships... Mark, I can't...  You can't... "

She was struggling. Sugar could hide emotions well, but it didn't mean they were non existent. Still she had a hard time letting herself be vulnerable in front of people.

"I'm not going anywhere" Mark said. He understood was she was trying to say. Sugar was happy for that. But still she had seen this before. She needed to be sure

"Mark. This is me"

Mark nodded

"This is me Mark" She repeated

He nodded again

"I cannot be anything else... This is all you get...      "

"Oh baby..." Mark sighed. It annoyed him to think that someone, before him, had made her feel less that desirable. It annoyed him.
"I am a psychiatric patient, still undiagnosed, Sugar"

"It's different when you see it... While... " Sugar trailed off looking at her feet.

Mark raised her head up so he could look at her face.
"Show me" he said.

"Hmm?" Sugar hummed softly, almost silently in surprise

"I'm still here, aren't I? Show me. Let me prove myself. "

Sugar stared at him for a full minute. As if weighing her options. Slowly she turned round and turned off the valve that supplied the gas to her oven. For a second Mark reckoned she was ignoring him. Until she faced him and spoke a moment later.

"Kiss me, Mark" She said

He didn't need to be told twice.  He kisses her with such hunger and need that he'd never felt before. He was definitely proving a point.
His shirt was discarded in a matter of minutes and Sugar was tracing her finger on his chest in a manner that made him almost breathless.
He hoisted her up onto the deep freezer in her kitchen and she wrapped her leg around his waist

He whispered sweet nothings in her ear when they came up for air occasionally.

Sugar knew, then and there, he wasn't going anywhere.

Mark did things to her.
Things she didn't think were possible. Her head was in a cloud on its own. Fuzzy and almost like she was high but good. So, so good.
He was like chocolate. Dark and sweet and familiar but the taste surprising you each time.

Mark was her undoing.

He was her chocolate.

This chapter was initially supposed to be the opposite of what I ended up writing but I decided you beautiful people don't need that type of negativity.
I hope you enjoyed.

Till next week my loves. 😘