Enforced (Book 1)

Chapter 54

We decided to pick wildflowers to cover Alex in. We had nothing to bury him with, so we decided that burying him beneath flowers would be best.

Sophie stayed very close to me while we chose flowers. "I tried to do what you said." She said abruptly.

"I tried to convince them you were dead, so they wouldn't all die rescuing you, because that's what you wanted. But they didn't care, they didn't believe me. And when they decided to go try to save you, I was glad."

I looked at her, "You probably aren't happy about that decision now are you?" I asked her solemnly.

"I am, actually. They gave you a chance to live. They saved you."

"Yeah," I said angrily, "and we lost Alex as a result."

"We didn't lose him. He's still here." Sophie said, touching her heart, tears beginning to fall down her face. "And here." She said touching carefully over my heart. "And in the breeze, and in the trees, and in the campfire. Just like Alexis is. Now he's with her."

Sophie had lost the two most important people in her life, yet she still stood so strong. "Please, Bethany," she begged me, "don't blame yourself. It was Alex's decision to do what he did. You sacrificed yourself for me, Alex sacrifices himself for you. We are family. It's what we do."

"Alex told me to tell you he loves you." I said.

Sophie looked at me smiled through her tears, "I know he did."

"And right before..." my voiced trailed off, "he told us he saw Alexis." Sophie let a laugh laced with tears. "And made us promise him we'd take care of you, but he didn't need to ask me to do that. Of course, I planned on that." I finished.

Sophie grabbed my hands, "I know."

We finished picking flowers and arranged them on top of Alex. Then we stood over him silently, each of us saying our goodbyes to him in our heads. I don't know how long we stood there, but at some point, Sophie fell to her knees by Alex. She leaned forward until her forehead was resting on top of the flowers covering Alex. The rest of us stepped away to give Sophie some time alone.

Once we were away from Sophie, I turned to Cory. I didn't know whether to thank him for saving me, or to apologize for being alive when his friend wasn't.

"Thank you." I decided. "For shooting him before he had a chance to stab me and for shooting the father before he had a second chance to shoot me." Then I paused, my voice breaking for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I am alive and your parents aren't. I'm sorry that I am alive and Alex is not."

Benjamin stood at my side, clearly upset with me for what I was saying. "Bethany, enough." Cory said bluntly. "I do not hold any of that stuff against you. You didn't choose for Alex to jump in front of that bullet, just like you didn't make the decision for my parents to be killed. They each made the decision to help you. Clearly they both saw something in you worth saving. So keep being that person."

"Thank you." I whispered.

Benjamin was clearly happy with what Cory had said, but I could tell by the way he refused to look me in the eye, that he was keeping something bottled up. Cory walked back to Sophie a few minutes later and I had the opportunity to ask Benjamin what was on his mind.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"It's a bunch of different things, Bethany. You were tortured again, and again I only got to you after the fact, and the only thing I could do was help stop the bleeding."

"I wonder what that's like." I said sarcastically.

He rolled his eyes. "Do you know hard it is to see you all bandages up like this? Knowing that beneath all of the gauze, you are cut to pieces?"

"I know exactly what that is like." I assured him.

"And you keep saying that you should be dead. It kills me to hear you say that." I didn't apologize. "And Alex is dead because I didn't get to you first." My head shot up and I looked at him quizzically.

"Alex is dead because he is faster than I am. I am guilty too. He was my friend. Aside from you, Cory, and Sophie, he was my only friend. And he's dead because I was too slow to take that bullet myself."

I shook my head, finally beginning to understand what Cory had told me. "You're wrong." I said sorrowfully. "Alex is dead for two reasons. He's dead because he is selfless, because he's a hero, because he found people worth saving. And," I said passionately, "he is dead because Richardson put a bounty over our heads because we dared to love each other, and that love defied him. And those subhuman pieces of trash took him up on that offer. It's Richardson's fault that these people I love are dead."

In my grief and rage I made a promise to myself then and there. "And I will make sure he pays for it."