Chapter 17

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~Sometimes the people you love the most will be the one to hurt you the most also~

"What did he tell just now?" I asked Kavya.

"Yeah, actually we planned on asking Abhi, Sandhya and Siddharth to join us. The more people, the fun it will be right?" Kavya said and I subconsciously nodded.

"Wait, no. Why would you guys call them? If they are coming I am not coming. You already have enough people to enjoy. You guys don't need me anymore!!!" I said. But, what I was thinking inside was different. I was actually happy that I get to spend more time with Siddharth. 

Shhh don't tell them. They will tease me to death.

"Oh, shut up. We know you and Siddharth have to make a decision by next week, cause your first trimester is going to end. After that, you cannot abort the baby even if you want. So, this is going to be a good chance for you to spend more time with him and take a good decision," she said.

"Kavya, you know what? I have decided to keep this baby. Even if Siddharth is not going to be a part of it. I am either going to do this alone, or with him. BUT, I am going to do this. I want this baby. I can't kill an innocent soul because of my selfish reason. You know, my brothers already hated me for doing this and I don't have any reason to stay here now. If Siddharth doesn't want this baby, I am going overseas where having a kid before marriage is okay, where people won't shot me dirty look for having this baby," I said, trying to control my tears. I really had to let this out of my mind.

To be honest, I am not ready to do this alone. Because I want Siddharth to be with me. I don't know what is the name of the feeling I am feeling right now!!! Is it love? Or just attraction? I don't know. But I want to be with him. But still if he doesn't want me, then I cannot force him. I will just let him live his own life and go further away from him.

To say women cannot live without men is BULLSHIT. I can definitely do it on my own. The first few years is going to be difficult, but I can definitely do it. I just feel bad for the baby because I know the pain of growing up without a father.

But, as any other normal human being, even I want to have it easy. If I had Siddharth with me, then he can work for us while I stay at home taking care of the baby until it is old enough. The baby will have love from both their parents and I can have a complete, easy and happy life. Only if Siddharth wants it. I mean now that I know he loves me, he wants me to stay with him. But, what will I do when he changes his mind after the baby is born? What if he doesn't want the baby or me anymore? I just want to have a Plan B.

"Answer me, dammit," Kavya shouted, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I asked her again. That is when I noticed she had tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What do you mean you don't have any reason to stay here? Am I a joke to you? You can leave us and go? How can you even think like this?" Kavya said and this time she was serious, because she was full on crying.

"Kavya, stop crying. You know I don't have any other choice. I cannot be here because, in India, people consider this a sin. The society will never accept this baby and I don't want my child to feel left out here. Many people are struggling having babies and I don't want to commit a sin by killing the baby God gifted me. I know I can't leave you guys and go, but I HAVE to do it. I am sorry," I said and she hugged me tight and sobbed.

After a few minutes she calmed down and she stormed out of my table. Wait, is she angry with me? Hmmm I mentally said sorry to her. I didn't follow her outside knowing she needs some time alone. I really hope Siddharth loves me just like Sandhya said because...I like him, that's it. I have no other reason. I really really like him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. That's it!!!

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