26. Existential Crisis

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Valentina

My phone slid off my ear yet the words continued ringing. My father killed my mother.

Falling back on the bed, I stared at the photos mocking me. Your father is a killer. Suddenly they weren't smiling photos of us anymore, they were mocking ones. Those weren't happy cheers, they were frowns masquerading as their counterpart.

"Val," a distant voice leaked from the phone. "Baby say something." Nicolas pleaded.

With trembling hands, I picked it up. The back of the device was as warm as my entire face. Maybe even my whole body. I felt hot, sweaty even in an air conditioned room.

"I am here." I answered with a rush of air filling up my lungs.

My eyes remained on my mother's post mortem report on one particular word, Asphyxia. Ramon Ramirez choked my mother.

"Nico, tell.. tell me everything.." I said, stuttering at my words and anchoring my phone holding my hand from trembling.

Nicolas drew a long deep breath as if preparing for a retelling of the treachery from my trusted father. "You may want to know who you are to make sense." His words pierced without pain this time. I stayed numb to it, with an occasional hmm now and then.

"You are not Ramon's daughter, Tina."

Unlike the usual silence I donned, I uttered a laugh upon hearing his words, upon seeing the photos and at my fate. All of my beliefs were crumbling before my eyes.

"So, I am an orphan?" I asked, waiting for the dark clouds lingering over me to consume me while with the truth.

"No," his shivered voice made its way across to me. "You are very much a Ramirez."

There were so many scattered pieces of thoughts in my mind but none of them aligned to depict a proper picture to me. "My mom.." I shuddered, unable to produce the next words. Nicolas helped me.

"Was having an affair with my dad. You are not Ramon's but Rodrigo's daughter. I am your half-brother."

Uncle Rodrigo was my actual father. My father, or the one whom I assumed to be my father, killed my mother. I was an illegitimate heir to the Ramirez. A bastard.

The silence in the room was deafening, jarring into my bones and blood. I dove into the pillow, screaming. My pent up anger passed onto my pillow as I bawled onto it till my lungs couldn't oxygenate me and my throat dried.

I was betrayed, lied to. I believed Ramon to be my father but he was just a guardian. He murdered my mother in cold blood.

My head was heating, my face burning and my chest heaving for air. The darkness of the secret took over the brightly lit room, casting a shadow inside. In the silence and the darkness, I sat up, wiping my face onto the pillow. The warmth from my face crept and engulfed my whole body. I looked up from the photos to the silhouette of a person standing near the door.

Antonio walked in, a hand in his trouser pocket and another scratching his stubble. His lips formed a straight line as he neared me and sat beside me.

The mattress depressed from his weight. Warmth flowed through his eyes and face when he moved his hand to be placed next to mine but not over it. Not touching.

Peeling his gaze off his hand placement, he titled his head to my side resembling an abandoned puppy. "What happened, Valentina?" He shifted in the bed till a comfortable spot was attained. He looked over the pages that lay beside him, a glance before diverting his attention onto me.

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