If you were here

Chapter 4

Derek was awoken once again in the middle of the night due to blaring alarms, but this time not due to raising heart rate.

Derek quickly ran over to Merediths bedside and looked at her monitors. Her O2 levels were decreasing rapidly by the secondly. Derek looked at Meredith, gasping for air and quickly pressed the call button and placed an oxygen mask over her mouth.

He watched helplessly as Meredith gasped for breath, her good arm scraping at her chest as if it would help her breath. "It's okay, your okay." Derek said to her. Bailey and a few nurses came running in and quickly assessed Meredith.

"I think her lung in punctured. We need to get her to surgery now, page Pierce!" Bailey yelled. "Her lung?" Derek exclaimed. "I think her rib punctured it. I'm hearing muffled breath sounds. Let's go!" Bailey yelled. Meredith watched without any clue what was going on except for the fact that her chest was biting and she couldn't breath.

They rolled Meredith out of the room and raced down the hall, Derek following helplessly as he held her hand. "Derek, you can't come in." Bailey said. "Like hell I can't!" He yelled. "I'm here! Meredith?" Maggie exclaimed in shock as she saw the patient. "Pierce, I'm almost 99% sure that her left lung is punctured." Bailey exclaimed.

"Let's go. Derek, you can't come in. Go sit." Maggie said sternly as they began to roll her into the OR. Derek was about to go follow them until a strong hand held him back. "You can't go in. It won't do any good for you or for Meredith." Mark said as he directed his best friend away and to a nurses station. "I can't lose her. Not again." Derek whispered, holding back tears. "I know. You won't, man. Greys strong." Mark replied.

Derek nodded and slid down the wall, putting his head in his hands. Mark sat down next to him and put a reassuring hand on his forearm.

In surgery, Meredith was intubated and now fully under. "Damn, this rib did a number. We need to reinflate the lung stat!" Maggie called. The nurse handed her the proper tools and they got to work. "I cannot believe I'm operating on my sister." Maggie exclaimed quietly. "I know." Bailey replied.

45 minutes later, Meredith came out of surgery and was back in her room and intubated, for precautionary reasons. Derek was frantic, pacing around the hall until Bailey and Maggie came and found him. "Is she okay?" Derek asked nervously. "She's fine. We reinflated her lung, and she's back in her room. But we did keep her intubated just as a precaution." Maggie replied. "Oh thank you." Derek gasped in relief as he hugged his sister in law tightly.

"Oh, your welcome." Maggie replied in surprise as Derek pulled away. "Can I see her?" He begged. Bailey nodded and before she even got a word out, Derek took off to Merediths room.

His heart broke once again when he saw her intubated, lifeless form in the bed. It reminded him of not so good times, like when she drowned. He kissed her hand softly and held it.

Moments later, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around and saw his sister. "Amy." Derek said quietly. "I'm so sorry." She whispered. "For what?" He asked in confusion. "I-i." Amelia started before sobbing. Derek led her over to the couch and wrapped an arm around her.

"Whats going on amy?" Derek asked softly. "I- Meredith. She paged me for the consult for that patient and I- I ignored her. I was mad at her." Amelia said as she cried into dereks chest. "Hey, hey. It's not your fault." Derek said as he hugged his sister. "I'm so sorry." Amelia cried. "It's not your fault. I promise. Nobody blames you for this, okay?" Derek asked. "But-" she started. "No. Amy, you cannot blame yourself for this, okay? This was nobody's fault except the patients." Derek said firmly.

Amelia nodded and wiped her tears away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying, your the one with the injured wife." She sniffled. "It's okay Amelia." Derek said as he kissed her forehead. Amelia relaxed into the couch and watched Derek stare at his wife.

"Do you want me to call mom?" Amelia asked. "I- I don't think Meredith would like that very much." Derek replied. "Derek, she can help with the kids and everyone." Amelia replied. "I- okay. Okay." He replied. With his mother, Derek did know that it would be a lot easier. His mother made everything better, always has, and always will. And right now, he desperately needed help.

Amelia nodded and left the room to crash in an on call room. She figured she could call her mom in the morning.

Derek decided to fall asleep in Merediths room once again. There was no way he was gonna leave there alone and intubated. If she woke up without anyone there, she would be scared and in pain, and he would let hell go down before he let that happen. Derek kissed Merediths forehead lightly before situating himself on the small uncomfortable couch and pulled a blanket over him. He closed his eyes and fell asleep into a dreamless sleep.

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