Broken bond

Chapter 27

Cal

I watch as my beautiful mate sleeps, her breaths small and soft. She's curled up against me while I just stare at her with a concerned gaze. She looks so much better since her imprisonment a week ago.

The hunters are somehow still going on strong despite the death of their leader. They are still able to counter our attacks and are still able to execute attacks of their own. I thought for sure that the quick death of their leader would stifle their spirits but it seems there may be another person pulling the strings. This doesn't look good for us and, if this keeps up, we may be wiped out unless we end this war immediately.

My thoughts are interrupted when Raven whimpers in my arms, the sound making her body tremble as her beautiful eyes slowly open. Seeing her like this makes me wonder how I could have ever been so cruel to her. How could I have seen the suffering and anguish on her face and still managed to walk away from her, like she was meaningless?

I'm not worthy of her love or her forgiveness. She should have put me through the same pain I put her through as punishment for my heartless actions then leave me like I left her and never look back.

She gives me a tiny smile; one filled with relief as she cuddles closer to me. Her arms wrap themselves around me fully and she nuzzles her nose into my neck, she does this as she has said that my scent brings her comfort. I smile as I wrap my arms around her waist lovingly as I pull her close to me.

She's been very clingy ever since she got here but I neither blame her nor mind. This is one of the millions of things I'd do only for her.

"I had a nightmare again. It was awful," she whispers, still nuzzling my neck for my comforting scent.

I just gently stroke her hair with one hand while the other rests on her belly. I remember how happy she was when we went to the pack doctor to have her check on the baby. The baby was still safe and healthy and it brought us so much relief. But my emotions are conflicted. On one hand, I love her and the baby with all my heart. However, on the other hand, I don't feel that I deserve her or the baby by my side.

I'm brought out of my thoughts when I feel soft hands carefully wipe away the tears that are slipping down my cheeks. I hadn't noticed I'd been crying until now as I stare into Raven's beautiful cognac eyes.

Raven. . .

"Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?" she questions in an innocent voice.

"I don't deserve you. You should have given me as much pain as I've given you. Why did you forgive me? I'm not worthy enough for your mercy and ever since you got here, that's all that's been on my mind. That the pain those bastard hunters caused you is equal to the anguish I let you suffer. How can you forgive me after what I've done to you?"

I let my emotions go and pour them out to her. I find it so easy to show her my true feelings. It's not fair. Why should I be allowed to show her my pain when I never acknowledged her own? I feel my face get pulled down and immediately soft lips connect to my own. Raven puts all her passion into this kiss and I feel myself move along with her not too long after as I hold her closer to my chest.

"I love you, Cal."

That's all she says. No lectures. No scolding. Not even a positive speech. Just those simple words. And, for some reason, they're the words I needed to hear the most. They're all I need. I smile as we lay back down, getting into comfortable positions as I softly rub her belly.

Raven

"Does he have to go?" Gale whines as we watch our mate go off to battle from our room, with our pack and the two others following him.

"I don't like it any more than you do but until he can end this war, there's nothing else that can be done. Unfortunately. . ."

I rub my growing baby bump for comfort. I don't know why I call it a baby bump, you cannot even see anything but a flat stomach! But, I guess I'm just acknowledging that it's there. That there's a life growing inside of me and that me and Cal are going to be parents.

I wonder what it will be? A boy or a girl? Will it look more like Cal or me? Will it have my eyes? Will it have his nose? Will it be calm like him or fierce like me? Will it cry a lot? Will it sleep like a soundlessly through the night?

If I'm being honest, I don't care how the baby turns out, I don't care if it cries at all hours of it's poops smell worse than a dump truck. I just pray to the Moon Goddess that it will be a healthy child. All I want is a healthy, happy child and hopefully it will be as energetic as Frankie. I want it to have his spirit so that, in a way, my brother can still be here with me - if not in flesh and blood then in spirit. That is what I wish for most in my child.

A smile passes over my face as I picture how much better my life will be once the baby arrives. How my dream of having a happy loving home, without living in fear or being hated everyday, will become a reality.

* * *

I'm walking downstairs to get a glass of apple juice when the front door bursts open and the sight makes me go weak at the knees. All the men have returned bruised, bleeding; some don't even look alive. It's like a scene taken out of a war movie. The stench of blood, silver, wolfsbane and death wafts through the air as they start rushing inside, some needing to be carried.

Many women have already started to flock around their mates, trying to help where they can. My blood goes cold as I look over the crowd and Cal's face isn't among them. I thought one or two might have been him but he was no where to be seen. I've almost lost all hope when Harry comes stumbling in, blood gushing down his face as a broken Cal has his arm around him for support, looking even more worse for wear. He has several bruises and has blood coming out of two places in his chest, the left side of his head, and in three places in his leg.

"Cal. . ." I gasp, unable to form any words from my shock.

Sam comes in and he is carrying Thomas, who looks like he's dead already. I almost cry as Harry rushes over to help them in and they head to the pack infirmary while Cal limps towards the stairs. He seats himself on the second step, his injured leg spread out in front of him while his head lays in his hands, his demeanor showcasing guilt and frustration.

I slowly walk over to him before seating myself next to him. I wrap my arms carefully around his neck, afraid I might hurt him even more if I'm not cautious enough.

"They ambushed us," he finally speaks after a long time of silence, his words bitter and remorseful.

"Cal, it's okay-"

"No, it's not!" I jump at his sudden outburst as he looks at me, his gaze breaking my heart from the pain his stormy eyes hold.

"They've gotten stronger and they have a new leader. Everyone almost died today and some still might. If this goes on any longer we'll be wiped off the face of the earth!"

I don't know what to do. I've never been very good at this as I could never figure out what to say. Years of abuse, suffering and torture can do that to you, can make you second-guess your words and feel completely useless. You can never really understand what words are needed to comfort someone.

I guess my silence didn't help much either as he begins to stand up and limp away. My heart stutters at the sight and I don't want him to go.

"Cal w-" I don't get a chance to finish my words as he suddenly stops and turns.

"Raven, I just. . .I just want to be alone for a while."

As he limps away from me, I shake my head as tears threaten to fall. I don't believe his words but I don't have the heart to go after him. Besides, even if I did go after him, would I even be of any comfort?