Trepidation [Book 1]

Chapter 12: her demons

Ethan's POV:

If it weren't my friend's birthday today, I would never have come to this frat party. I was only going to stay an hour; to celebrate my friend, but I've stayed because of a certain green eyed, brunette.

As soon as Francesca walked through the door into the garden, I couldn't keep my eyes off her. I've not seen her wear anything other than sweats or jeans, so seeing her in a short-ish, white, sequin dress, all of the blood in my body went straight to my dick. I have never seen her this beautiful. She wasn't wearing makeup, she just looked so confident as she greeted her friends.

The guy she was getting all cuddly with didn't sit right with me, and I admit, I was kind of jealous by the way he could effortlessly pull her into him and her lay on his chest like they've been dating for years. It was weird and somewhat hard to see, but again I couldn't draw my eyes away from her.

I need to keep reminding myself that she is only my friend. My friend whom of which has made perfectly clear is staying single and has made no ounce of liking towards me.

She confuses me more than anyone has ever. I'm nearly twenty-one, and I've never come across such an enigma. She fires off so much sass, and I'm completely and utterly drawn to her. Usually girls come and go with me, I never let them stick around, but for the first time ever, I've wanted her to. Only this one doesn't want to, or she's putting up a hard fight.

There is something about her that captivates me, but I'm not going to be the one to cross the boundary. She has her guards way up, and she's been hurt in the past. When I heard about her ex-boyfriend, I wanted to cave his face in, but I know that will do no one no good. She talked about it like she was reading the newspaper; a casual topic, but when I looked in her eyes, I could clearly see the hurt he has caused. If I ever overstep, I'm just going to cause her more pain.

I'm a mess. I will only fuck her life up more. So, friendship is all this will ever be between us. I tease her, she comes back with a snarky or sarcastic reply. Conversation bounces between us like a pogo stick, and she's great company to have around, but whenever you involve romantic feelings, it always goes south.

I met her three weeks ago, and since meeting her, she's always in my mind. Waking up, drenched in sweat each morning is not the way I want to wake up. She's my friend. It's totally inappropriate to be having sex dreams about her.

She sends me so many mixed signals. We share moments, where I believe there could be something, but then the next minute she'll completely change her demeanor. I can't keep up with her.

So, friendship it is between us. I've never had a friend that is a girl before, but it's only a gender, so what really is the difference between one of the guys. Only I'm insanely attracted to her and her personality. Yeah, that.

As the night continued on, I hung out with some of the guys and drank a bit. I saw her at times through the night, one of them when she was out in the garden, I saw her through the kitchen window when I was grabbing a beer; she had a cig between her lips and her hair was blowing in the wind. I've not seen anything more attractive, and it's now engraved in my brain. The short yet effective dirty thought soon went away when I focused in on who she was with... Jack.

We've never really been friends, just mere acquaintances. All I know is that she's no good being around him. It's obvious she's close to him as well as that other guy, whatever he's called, but I feel uneasy as I watched them converse between one another.

I need to get my facts straight... I'm fucking jealous.

He could be the nicest guy in the planet and I'd still feel the urge to separate the two and warn him off.