Untitled Fears

5

The second I could talk again, we told each other what we wanted to know:

Me: "Our father was the leader of the mafia for 10 years before Olivia and I were born. He worked as the leader up until when I was around 7. He was planning to step down but had one last thing to take care of. He took care of it in the house though. He killed a woman in our living room. There was blood everywhere and the woman's face was screaming out for help as her eyes lost life. My sister and I were forced to watch from the corner because we were too scared to move. When the bloodbath finally ended, the murderer turned to his kids and said that if we told anyone, he'd kill us and anyone we ever loved. So, we kept it a secret. Just between the two of us. And we hadn't seen the guy since. he started working at a company and we never went looking for him. Too afraid to do so. Olivia swore that if he ever laid a hand on either one of us, she'd turn him in and make sure that he wasn't leaving. I really didn't think he'd ever come back. When he turned up at the door, I truly had a face of pure confusion and fear."

Kito: "When I found you lying on the floor of the apartment, I couldn't find any breathing sounds whatsoever so I gave you CPR as I called an ambulance and I was able to keep you breathing and kept pressure on the blade wound as you kept breathing raggedly. When the ambulance finally arrived, you'd lost so much blood it scared me. I was afraid I was gonna lose you. I called Olivia from the hospital waiting room and told her to get down from her base to the hospital because her brother was getting surgery done. You had to have your esophagus rearranged, the ribs that were poking at your lungs from how hard you were thrown against the wall had to be put back, and the blade was removed and it luckily hadn't hit anything. You were out for an entire 32 hours before you woke up. I never left your side. Olivia kept going between the hospital and base." 

Olivia: "I had contact with our father, once, 4 years ago. I had just joined the Navy and our father was asking about the pay and how much of a cut he was getting. I blew him off until he appeared on base demanding to see me. He said that either he got a cut or he was gonna go to Ryan for the cash when the time came. I gave him half the amount he wanted then told him to leave us both alone. Honestly, when Kito called and told me Ryan was in surgery, I moved faster than I ever have in my life. I really only thought it to be the kids from school again. When Ryan told me it was our father, I left the hospital and went straight to the press. Our father was arrested, our mother is under surveillance, and Ryan is under the protection of the US navy. I told the press to keep your identity a secret so no one knows you're the kid behind the abuse. If I lost you again to a mob, I'd go crazy."

"Are we missing anything?" Kito asked when all three of us spoke. We were at home, on our couch after I was released from the hospital. "For instance, my father was in the same gang as your father but got out before it was too late." 

"I'm being sent off on a mission across the sea when school starts in the fall," Olivia said. "I'll be at sea for three months."

"I cut my wrists whenever I can't deal with the pain emotionally," I said. The two of them were quiet and I was waiting for one of them to scream out, yell at me, or something. 

"Come here Ryan," Olivia said. I brought my body over to and she pulled off my gloves to see the scarred wrists underneath the bloody bandages. 

"They reopened every time I went to the hospital but the nurses were nice enough not to say a word," I explained as she traced the cuts with her finger, Kito took my other arm and just awed at the amount that was there. The newest one was at least a month old. "Ever since I moved in with Kito, I've had no reason to cut them again." 

"Ryan, I told you to stop scaring me like this," Olivia said. Kito pulled me into his lap and captured me in a hug. "Actually, that goes for either of us. You forget that I'm not the only one looking out for you."

"Not that I forget," I replied. "Just that my brain always tells me that I don't deserve it."

"You do, and don't you dare forget that," he told me, squeezing me tighter. "Please don't hurt yourself like this again. You're born to heal, not hurt and that includes yourself."

"He's right Ryan," Olivia said. "You've been fixing wounds since we were kids, you aren't meant to fight or hurt anyone. So, no hurting yourself." Then her phone buzzed and her face looked annoyed. "I gotta go, the new recruits just arrived. Ryan, stay out of trouble. And I mean it this time."

"Trouble is good at finding me," I replied, smirking. "I'll try, and I have two guards staking out my house now, so how much trouble could I get in?"

"Please don't try and test that statement," she said standing at my door. "I love you, Oliver. Stay safe, Kito."

The second the door closed, Kito was kissing the scars on my arms. 

"No more cutting, you feel alone, you come to me, okay?" he asked but it was more in a begging tone. I smiled, closed my eyes, and leaned against his chest.

"I promise," I said. "You know, I still don't get why you're sticking around for the bumpiest ride of your life."

"Because this is the ride I want to take because this is the ride I want to take if it means I'll be with you," Kito said. "Want me to tell you everything about you I love?"

"Oh boy," I said. 

"Your eyes and how different they are, your soft hair, how silly you can be, your laugh is magnificent, your ass is pretty and round," he listed and I clasped a hand over his mouth after that. 

"Please don't talk about my butt," I told him, wanting to be annoyed but I only laughed instead. 

"I only speak the truth," he said. I shook my head at his antics and he picked me up and walked over to ur room dropping me on the bed before proceeding to tickle me to death. When the howling of laughter finally stopped, he kissed me deeply, like he would die if he didn't get it. When it broke apart we looked into each other's eyes watching the other lovingly. "I love you, Ryan."

"I love you, Kito," I replied.