Journal Entry #7
March 5th
6 months since
Half a year. I've spent half a fucking year without you here with me sweetheart. Today was my birthday and instead of waking up to you peppering kisses to my face, I woke up to empty arms and an ache in my chest. I miss you more everyday. I didn't even think it would be possible but each day I find myself longing for you a little bit more than I did before. The milestones are the worst. I know it's been a while, school has been a much needed distraction and it's kept me quite busy. You'd be proud of me Ally, I'm passing all my classes. I mean, I've always passed my classes, you know being a nerd and all but this year has been a struggle and it's been a lot harder to glide through my coursework. I think this is probably the loneliest birthday I've ever had. Our friends came over in the morning to check up on me and invite me out to dinner but I declined. I told them that we had plans tonight. I'm pretty sure they thought I was crazy but they can think what they want. I'm sitting at the cemetery, beside your headstone. Allison "Ally" Winston. Loving fiancée, friend and daughter. Forever yours ♡. It's the first time I've visited since the funeral. I hope that doesn't make me an awful fiancé. I brought your favourite flowers to make up for it. I couldn't bring myself back here, it all just felt too real. Seeing your headstone, seeing your name carved in made it all too real. I'm sorry I didn't visit sooner. I'm sorry for a lot of things sweetheart. I wish you were here with me right now. I found a voicemail you left on my phone last year for my birthday. "Happy Birthday baby! I'm sorry I couldn't be there to wake you up with your birthday kisses. This stupid morning class is really annoying. But just know that I'll be home later tonight and I'll make up for all the lost kisses. I love you so much Alex. Forever yours. Muah". Hearing your voice for the first time in half a year brought me to tears. My knees collapsed as I replayed the message over and over again. God Ally, I can't wait for those kisses you promised me. I'll be waiting patiently my love. Soon enough we'll be together again. I love you sweetheart.
Forever yours, alex
A/N
Halfway through the book. This chapter made me cry. I can't believe something I wrote made me cry. I never cry but the pain Alex is feeling is so real to me that I feel like I'm experiencing it.
I'm so mad at myself for doing this to Alex and Ally. They deserve a happy ending. I'm sorry to everyone reading this book. It will pull at your heartstrings.
YOU ARE READING
Surviving You
Short Story"And as I hold my crying, broken girl in my arms at the doctors office, I realize the true meaning of unconditional love. There isn't anything that could happen that would make me stop loving her. I'll always love her. My heart will forever be hers...
