Surviving You

26: Core Memory #13

Core Memory - Ten years

It's been ten years. Ten years since I lost my sweetheart, my other half, my Ally.

I've accomplished a lot in the ten years. I like to think she would be proud.

I fell in love again. I got married. I bought a house. I had two beautiful children. I'm happy again. Truly happy.

I'd be lying if I said the pain Ally's death went away. It hasn't gone away. But it's become manageable. Like she said, it's no longer all consuming.

My wife has been so helpful in getting through the pain. She's gone through the same grief I've went through. We both understand we'll always belong to other people. But that doesn't mean that I don't love my wife. Or that she doesn't love me. It's just a different type of love. We work well together and produced two amazing children.

I still talk regularly with my friends. Nate, Raven, Eric, Julia, Lauren and I all get together every month for a dinner and drinks. We're still as close as we were back in high school, now with the addition of Lauren.

My phone buzzes in my hand, Eric's number flashing on the screen. I answer the call and place the phone to my ear.

"Hey" Eric quietly greets.

"Hey" I repeat back.

"I can't believe it's been ten years. It feels like just yesterday we were all sitting together in the high school cafeteria talking and laughing" Eric states and I can't help but sadly nod my head even though he can't see.

Ten years is a long time. It's longer than the time I spent with Ally. Yet, she's the one I still hold near and dear to my heart. I'm still forever hers.

"I can't believe it either. I miss her so much. I occasionally find myself wanting to tell her something, or longing to hear her laugh and for her to tell me she loves me. There's nothing I wouldn't do just to spend one more day with her" I express to him and hear him hum in response.

"How are you doing today?" Eric asks genuinely. In his old age, he's matured a lot more but he's still the jokester everyone knows and loves.

"I'm doing okay. Could be worse, could be better" I reply with a shrug of my shoulders.

"We should all go down to her grave soon. Make a day trip out of it. I haven't been in awhile and I think it'd be nice if we all visited her together. Get the gang back together" Eric jokes a little and I huff in amusement.

"Yeah, I'd think she'd like that" I agree with him.

"Well, I have to go, Alexander gets home from his first day of 3rd grade soon"

"Woah, 3rd grade! I can't believe he's getting so old!" I exclaim as I talk about Eric and Julia's first child they named after me. Their reasoning behind naming their child after me was heartwarming to say the least. Eric admired how strong I was after losing Ally and said it would be an honour to name his child after me. I don't think I was strong at all after losing Ally but I'm still touched by the sentiment.

"I know! Julia's been saying he's been acting a lot like me recently" Eric claims and I can't help but laugh.

"God help us all" I say through a fake cough and I hear Eric gasp in shock.

"Is it too late to change your 8 year olds name?" Eric teases and I chuckle.

"I think it might be. Anyways, I'll see you soon"