Lightning Only Strikes Once - Clexa

Chapter 41: Not the Couch, But Close

Clarke tries to tell herself it's a good thing they're staying around for another day. It gives them time to bury Pike (she could almost believe Lexa's speech, if she didn't know better). It gives Lexa time to get better.

And it gives Raven a chance to tune the radio some more. "I've found two stations," she reports proudly when Clarke stops by. "Uh, how are you doing, by the way? How's Lexa?"

"Fine," Clarke says shortly. She doesn't want to talk about Lexa's injury right now, not until it stops making her feel a lurch of icy fear and picture that still body. She'll get herself under control soon. Lexa's ploy has opened up a few fears she'd nearly managed to banish, but she will be fine in time. She always is.

"She figured out our funeral customs pretty quickly, from the sound of it," Raven comments, looking a little impressed. "Farm Station loved that eulogy."

"Which two stations?" Clarke decides to change the subject.

Raven throws her an apologetic look. "Not Abby's, I'm afraid. These ones are the ones further north, from what they can tell, not the two that veered off. Mecha Station, with Cole. Factory Station, with Jaha. I got Wells to speak to him as well as me. So I guess at least we have our leadership back?" Raven's voice is doubtful – she doesn't necessarily seem to think that's a good thing.

Clarke doesn't think it's a particularly good thing either. Good for Wells, and good for the nearly six hundred people on Factory Station (it's one of the largest, along with Alpha), but probably not good for everyone else. She notes that the two stations who have working radios are the station where Raven worked, and the station where Raven lived – that doesn't feel like a coincidence. She can definitely picture Raven fiddling around with everything in her vicinity, making sure it's all strong and sturdy and functioning perfectly.

"How many stations does that account for?" Clarke wonders, working it out.

"Well, Octavia told me two of the scouts have returned, and they've both found stations, but one of them is apparently wiped out – it looks like the station split into five parts and everyone died of impact or exposure before the scout got there. The other one found Mecha Station, which I also spoke to earlier. Jaha's one hasn't seen a scout yet. It makes sense that the guys without blankets were more desperate to find people and spent more time fiddling with the radio. So that's three more, in addition to the two we already found," Raven summarises. "Two of which have survivors. We only sent people down in seven of the stations, the ones least likely to break up. So I think we've found all the ones in the north. Well, 'found' may be too strong a word, since we don't know exactly where Factory is."

"We'll find Factory Station soon," Clarke promises. "If Jaha has any information about where they landed, a description of the land, even, maybe we can get one of Zion's gonas who comes from around here to guess a location."

"That would be good," Raven says distantly, already back to fiddling with the radio.

Clarke leaves the tent. She sees Lexa speaking to Indra and Lincoln and meets her eyes. As well as the normal rush of love when she sees Lexa, there's a feeling of overpowering relief – Lexa's alive. But there's also a blast of hurt. She felt it along with the fear, earlier, when Raven referred to Lexa's injury, and she feels it again now. It's a deep, aching hurt, like pushing hard against a bad bruise. Lexa lied to her. Lexa hurt her. And no matter how much she loves her, that hurt, that confusion, that betrayal – it will take a little while to heal properly, to fade. But it will fade. Just like the nightmares. It has before, after all. Nevertheless, she can't stop herself from glancing away from Lexa, from taking a deep breath to get her feelings under control. When she looks again, Lexa's deep in conversation and doesn't notice.