Lightning Only Strikes Once - Clexa

Chapter 104: Bucket List

Lexa has never crossed the Azgeda lake before.

She has been to it, of course, even ridden along the bank back when she first forced Nia into the alliance. It was too much of a risk for her to attempt to cross the ice at that time. Any Azgeda fool with salt, a saw, and a grudge could have made the whole thing into a trap. Nia herself might have even attempted it if she could be sure her actions were untraceable. Since then she has only seen it on maps – a jagged, stretched shape, slicing through Azgeda territory as if trying to behead it.

She never imagined crossing the lake like this.

Linkon is heavy and the makeshift stretcher is unwieldy. There would be no point leaving him to increase their speed, though – Raven is just as slow with her leg wound, and there is no chance of Clarke leaving both of them behind. If Lexa chose to pragmatically focus on her own survival, then it would be at the expense of all three of them. There are worse things than dying. She will not abandon her niron and friends, though Assan's expression when she glances back at him suggests he wishes she would do exactly that.

"What's the plan?" Clarke says in an undertone, shuffling so that she's next to her. Raven angles her head to listen but does not say anything.

"I do not know," Lexa says flatly, shifting slightly to distribute the stretcher's weight. "Perhaps we should contact Wells, call for aid."

"The radio's wrecked," Raven informs her. "It broke when Lincoln tackled me."

"I see," Lexa says, after a pause. "The trigger?"

"Looks fine. So does the last bomb and the grenades."

They keep walking, slowly and grimly, slipping occasionally on the ice but righting themselves, no sound except their soft breathing and the light patter of snow. Lexa darts a glance at the shoreline. No one is there yet. They will be, though, and soon. Armies wait for their scout reports, but this army cannot afford to wait long, not with their orders.

"That woman," Raven says, abruptly changing the subject. "You knew her, didn't you?" Clarke raises her head and gives Lexa a look filled with compassion, and Lexa knows that Clarke recognised her silent communication with Keyza as well. Being Clarke, she probably understood more of Lexa's attempted message than Keyza did.

Lexa considers asking which woman, but does not feel she should evade the question. "Sha. I did. She worked for me."

Raven swallows hard. "Right. Right, that's why she tried to... she was..."

Their party needs to pause for nearly a minute as Raven throws up everything her stomach holds, unheeded tears streaming down her face, her vomiting interspersed with hoarse coughing fits. Then Clarke pulls her upright again and they stagger on. The snowfall is still light. They will be seen as soon as the gonakru reaches the lake's edge.

"It was not your fault," Lexa tells Raven gently. "She was trying to keep us safe, just as you were, but neither of you could manage it alone. If you had not acted Linkon and Assan would have been killed – perhaps the rest of us as well. You did the best you could. You saved us. She would not blame you." The words are meaningless, she knows, so soon after a death. Perhaps this is the first time Raven has been truly close to the effects of her devices, for all her joking comments about enjoying the destruction. It is one thing to watch a flare of fire, another to witness a person burn; one thing to enjoy the power of a grenade, another to see someone's skin shredded and sliced. And the knowledge you have killed an ally, however unwittingly... it can eat at you.

She shifts again, the stretcher's weight uncomfortable . Despite the cold, sweat from the exertion is dripping down her forehead and stinging her eyes. Linkon lets out a low moan from behind her. Perhaps he is waking up – but when she looks back, he still seems to be unconscious, so while he may be waking up he is certainly not awake.