The little things

10. Mom's Birthday

(2198 words)

The sky was perfect. There were no clouds, the stars were shinning brightly and Jamison could see the little dipper. That constellation was his mothers favorite, always the little dipper, not the big. He didn't know why she preferred the first, but he was sure she didn't remember telling him. It was common for her to tell him things by accident, either because she was stressed or she was simply just rambling.

There was a light breeze that passed as Jamison stood at the edge of the cliff, his mind telling him to just forget about talking to the stars and jump off. He didn't want to; he really didn't want to but he was getting closer and closer to breaking down completely. Tears were already flowing down his cheeks and he gave up trying to make them disappear when he first arrived.

It was his mother's birthday. She was the only person in his house who celebrated their day of birth but that was also the only day she was the nicest. He truly did love his mom, no matter how many times she would ignore what his father would do. She was his mom, she cared for him in her own, twisted way.

"She would be so happy if I just jumped." He whispered to himself, his body leaning forward but he forced himself back, taking his eyes off the bottom of the cliff and glancing at the stars, he couldn't die until he talked to the stars.

He wanted to, he wanted to tell the stars everything that happened just like he has every other time he came to the cliff, but he physically couldn't. His voice wouldn't rise above a whisper and his eyes wouldn't leave the bottom of the cliff. His tears never seemed to end and his mind was just screaming at him to jump. Telling him to let his blood cover the rocks below, let his body lay there untouched for days, unnoticed. Then when news would get to his mom, if it gets to his mom, she should be happy to hear it.

He leaned forward again, his foot slipping and he was fully prepared to land on the ground below. This is what his mother would have liked, this would be the perfect birthday present for her. All his others were never good enough for her, so maybe this one she would actually keep, maybe this time he would get praised for doing something she enjoyed.

The rocks he knocked off from the edge followed him down, only they went further than he had, because he had been stopped. His arm was yanked roughly and he was vaguely wondering how his shoulder hadn't popped. His body jerked upwards at the unpredicted stop, his left arm the only thing keeping him from falling all the way down. He let a grunt of protest escape his mouth, the tears still falling but he has long ago forgot about them, his eyes not leaving the ground.

He made no attempt to make his way back up and whoever was holding him made no attempt to force him up, for now, he was just hanging there. The other person huffed and then dropped something, when it passed Jamison's eyesight, he noticed it was a cigarette, the faint glow of it slowly disappearing with length.

A sob broke through as the cigarette put an image of his father in Jamison's head. He didn't know what his mother saw in his father but he wished she hadn't. She may have been nice half the time and rude the other, but at least she was somewhat of a decent human being. His father wasn't, so how they met would be a mystery and he wanted that mystery to be reversed. Then he wouldn't have to kill himself in order to make his mother proud.

He sniffled again and then he was hoisted up like he weighed nothing, his arm and side brushing against the cliff, maybe leaving a mark but he wouldn't be sure until later.

All he knew was that whoever just saved him, shouldn't have.

He landed on the ground, his front to the sky and his tears moving from his eyes to the side of his face, the salty water entering his ears. His chest moved up and down as he breathed, not caring enough to move the pieces of hair stuck in his eyes. He had meant to put his hair in a bun but he broke his last hair tie before he had gotten to the cliff, so his hair was stuck being down until he could go shopping, which shouldn't have been an option.