The little things

14. The End

(2073 words)

The cold air was perfect for what Jamison was about to do. The breeze pulled his baby hairs with it as the rest of his hair stayed in the half-bun, half-braid hairstyle he has come to love. His hoodie deflected most of the wind and even if it didn't, he wouldn't have cared, the cold was something he didn't mind too much.

He knew that tonight was going to be a rough one, not for him but for the three boys that were soon to arrive, considering it was around one-something in the morning. He already considered himself to be a terrible person and his actions of the night were going to prove it.

Because he was going to end his life with the three boys watching.

It's not that he wanted them to see him die, but he had to tell them something that no words written could ever explain on their own. He wouldn't be able to express all of his crappy emotions inside of only a few notes. So, as he waited for the boys that always came at the wrong times, he finally spoke to the stars.

"Long time no talk," he jokingly started out, no laughter leaving his throat. "It's been crazy these past few weeks, I'm sure you know that without me telling you though." He gazed into the open night, his feet gripping onto the edge of the cliff to make sure he doesn't decide to just tip forward.

"I got enough money to last dad another two months, though I know he didn't deserve my help. Mom hasn't even attempted to get back in contact with me and the kids at school went back to not minding their business." His gaze dropped to his town below and he had a small, sadistic smile on his face, "I think I just like making my own life a living hell. Did I really think anything could change?"

He scoffed at himself, thinking of all the times he would imagine kids actually being nice to him. He would picture his mom and dad as an actual family, with trips and bored games, and family time. The images just put him through more pain and he would always wonder if he was some type of masochist. Because no matter how bad the images and ideas hurt him internally, he couldn't bring himself to stop imagining them.

For a small time, they would bring him some joy, but after the brief moment all he felt was sadness. So, he would change the internal sadness for an external pain, but he wasn't here to dwell on that, he was here to talk to the stars for the very last time.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing? I know it's too late to ask, but I was just wondering. My life hasn't gotten better over the years and now I'm more alone then ever, even if everything did stop, I don't think I would ever really be ok. So, maybe I am making the right decision." He looked up to the black abyss that was decorated in dotted lights, watching as one twinkled in the night.

He would always see stars twinkling, but for some reason, this felt like he was actually getting an answer, like the star was agreeing with his choices. "I know this is going to break them, especially the Nerdy boy, but I just can't do it anymore. I hope they understand that."

He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, gazing out into the blackness in front of him before his eyes rested back to the stars that have never left him, "so I guess this is my final goodbye, for real this time."

He didn't move.

His eyes slowly closed and he forced his breathing to become slower, taking in the last little bit of peace he would get. His dad wouldn't realize until days later and he hopped that the boys didn't decide to call the police as soon as he hits the rocks below. His mom though, his mom might never know what he did. His dad probably wouldn't call to tell her and it's not like she had any connections to this place anymore.

He would be surprised if anyone could find her.

He heard the rushed steps of a running boy and could tell that it was Mystery boy, because Nerdy boy would have yelled by now. "Stop, please." He didn't yell, he barely raised his voice at all, but the steps stopped almost instantly.