12. Getting Better

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(1184 words) Warning: There will be no more warnings because it is quite obvious how this book is supposed to make you feel. Have fun reading!

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It was the perfect type of weather, but Jamison felt no happiness at being on the edge of the cliff. The last two weeks the cliff felt like a chore. He didn't want to go and yet he couldn't stop himself from going, it has been the same with everything he does. Work has been more brutal and school made him want to give up, yet he kept going like nothing had changed.

His coworkers had stopped asking him what was wrong but he could see them giving him worried glances. The kids at school had actually started to avoid him, and he had no idea what changed for that to happen, yet now he felt emptier than ever. His dad only came home to sleep off drunken nights or to bring home a girl that had a significant other.

The only thing that hasn't changed, was the Mystery boy.

Nerdy boy seemed to be less energetic around Jamison and Jamison himself felt partially bad, but he couldn't help it. He tried to seem entertained and engaged in what the boy was saying but he knew the Nerdy boy caught him glancing off to the cliff's end. And he knew both boys were getting tired of stopping him from trying to die.

Mystery boy had started to sit further from the edge so Jamison had to sit further as well, but that still didn't stop the shorter from walking closer and closer every chance he got. They still played games but Jamison's mind would wonder to his dead body on the ground just below the cliff's edge. He had an unhealthy obsession, he knew that, yet that was what made it so much harder to stop. He knew he needed to, he needed to go back to normal, but he just couldn't snap himself out of the mindset.

He figured it was because of his mother's birthday. Even when she was around, he was never completely fine on that day. He would have random moments where he just shut down and he would freak out if he got touched, he never knew it was this serious.

Now he was walking closer to the edge of the cliff and his feet didn't stop moving, even when the space got smaller and smaller. He wanted to tell the stars about his day, about the past two weeks, but he couldn't stop moving and he couldn't open his mouth. His mind was screaming at him to just talk, do something to let the stars know they weren't forgotten, but he couldn't. It was physically impossible for him to stop moving his body to its desired destination.

Hands wrapped around his torso tightly, gripping onto him like he was a balloon that couldn't stop rising. From the frantic breaths and the tight grip, he could tell it was the Nerdy boy. Mystery boy would have been calmer and he hasn't seen the Mean boy since his mother's birthday.

He was pulled back roughly, landing on to top of the Nerdy boy as the stars came into full view. The stars were one of the most beautiful things he has ever seen and seeing them completely just made him realize how much he actually missed talking to the stars.

He missed them so much.

Tears made their way to the edge of his eyes and he did nothing to stop them from falling, the trail leading to his ear. There was no sound and the salty water came out slowly, yet he almost felt relived he hadn't lost all of his feelings. The tears felt like a refreshing cup of water after days in the smoldering heat. He didn't know how long he would feel this light, but he was going to savor this moment until he couldn't any more.

Nerdy boy kept a tight grip on Jamison's torso, his head in the crook of the shorter's neck as soft tears left his eyes. He personally hasn't had to stop the shorter from going off the edge except for when they first met, so seeing him that close put panic into his system. Nerdy boy was just glade he stopped the long-haired male before it was too late. "I-I-I-I-Idi-iot, Duh-duh-dummy, Mea-meanie."

Nerdy boy continued with the grade school insults and Jamison simply listened as he continued to stare at the stars. He told himself he wouldn't kill himself while the Nerdy boy was here, he was too young and fragile to witness something like that, yet he almost let it happen. He needed to get a grip on his emotions before any of the boys witnessed his death, he could never die peacefully knowing he was the cause for their therapy.

They stayed that way, both crying but only one was noticeable. Jamison needed a way to get the Nerdy boy back to his normal preppy self, but he wasn't sure how he could do that. He wasn't used to cheering people up and he definitely wasn't good at comforting people, so he was lost on what to do.

The Nerdy boy calmed down enough to loosen his grip on the shorter, but he didn't want the boy to get off, and he was happy when Jamison made no move to. Both boys looked up to the stars and then the Nerdy boy saw his constellation. "Lo-o-ok! It's L-L-Leo! Th-th-tha-that's my constell-ll-llation!" He happily lifted his hand to trace the stars he saw and Jamison felt himself gain a small smile at the boy's childish pleasure.

He watched Nerdy boy's hand as it outlined the constellation, bringing the picture to life. He never thought to ask the boy his birthday or his name, it always slipped his mind and right now he figured would be a bad time to ask, so he just lived in the moment of the Nerdy boy's pleasure.

The boy continued to gush about being a Leo and what that meant exactly while Jamison listened to everything the boy was saying. He was glad the Nerdy boy was getting back to normal, talking more and being the outgoing person he used to be. It made Jamison have a tingle of hope, hope that he could make Nerdy boy happy once more before he ends his life.

Nerdy boy made shapes in the stars while Jamison watched him amusedly, their position switching to Nerdy boy being held by the shorter. The breeze became transparent and the night turned to day, all while Jamison watched the boy sleep with only the stars to cover him.

Jamison looked ahead of himself and stared at the dim lights that illuminated his small town before letting out a sigh. "The end of January I will end my life and leave the boys to themselves, I just hope I can make them have the best time before that happens. Especially this Nerdy boy." He moved a piece of hair behind the taller's ear though it didn't stay there for long, letting a chuckle leave Jamison's throat. "Let's just hope they aren't already as attached to me as I am to them."

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