bnha comfort stories

Sweet Sleepover (Aizawa x reader)

Tw:ed (ana) /low self esteem,

Ynn your nickname
Y/f/m your favourite movie

(If you think this might trigger you, please don't read it, I wrote it to comfort myself and other ppl that are dealing with the same struggles I am dealing with, if you have any type of eating disorder and you need to vent please contact me, I love you all so much)

~♡~

Obsession. Obsession is the only word that can describe what you have.
An obsession with food, an obsession with weight and calories.
You never thought that you will be here after hitting your first goal weight years ago,
You thought you would eat normally after getting skinny. Oh, how naive you were. You went from wanting a thigh gap to wanting to look like death itself.

whenever you hit your goal weight you put a lower one, you cannot get enough of the euphoria that comes with you accomplishing the goal you set for yourself. You might not be the best at everything, but at least you can be the best at starving yourself.

It's not something normal healthy people would be proud of.

Sometimes you wonder why you must put yourself through this but just seeing a skinny body, triggers you to work even harder so that you can get even thinner.

You do not eat lunch at the cafeteria anymore, it is way too stressful. And you would compare your plate with everyone else's plate, you see how much they eat, and you would feel disgustingly obese when someone eats less than you. You don't personally think that Obese people are ugly and disgusting, but the thought of you gaining weight makes you cry at night, as soon as you eat something, you feel the guilt that always comes with it,

It's what you deserve, you told yourself. It is what you get for eating, it's what you get for being a fat disgusting whale.

You feel like such a hypocrite all the time, because you think that other people's bodies, are pretty, even overweight and obese people which may be surprising for some people, but as soon as you see yours you feel pure hatred and disgust. "All bodies are beautiful (except your own)"

All you ever think about is food, and even thinking about it makes you feel fat.
This eating disorder sucked the life out of you, consumed your personality and your energy.

You can't stand up without feeling like your about to pass out, your hair is thinning, and your skin looks so unhealthy and transparent.

As an overweight child, people always criticized your eating habits and your body, you would get compared to other thinner children. you got called ugly a lot, but it only got worse when you entered school,

After years of relentless bullying. You started to bully yourself. And you decided to start your first diet at the age of 11. Little did you know, it was the start of the most horrifying never-ending battle between you and yourself.

People need food to survive. It's not like cigarettes or drugs or alcohol. Sure, quitting them is extremely hard. But you don't need them to survive, unlike food since you need to find a balance.

People never suspected you to have an eating disorder, you were not sick in their eyes. You were a success story. "An inspiration".